Checking out some good links!

I'm home alone for a bit...
It's Canada day and my husband took the big kids to watch fireworks while I stay home with our sleeping toddler.

I've been looking for some good unassisted birth links...

http://www.empoweredchildbirth.com/about.html

http://www.unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/

I love the picture on Laura Shanley's site (the link above) because that birth position is the one I gravitate towards and find perfect - when no one is telling me what to do!!!

Well, I'll be sure to add some more links later... time to head to bed!

Second Trimester!

Yay! I've reached the second trimester. And to christen it, I've acquired a horrible cold. Yuck!

On another note, last night we told the kids about the new baby. Actually, my 9 year old daughter guessed when we said that we had something to tell them. Silly, insightful girl! It is really neat how in a big family, no one is upset by the thought of another sibling to share with... another person to take care of. They are all thrilled, wondering if it will be a boy or girl - and I think most votes are out for another boy so we are "even".

So just to make it clear, I'm not the type of person to wait out the first trimester for worry that I might miscarry. Even though I've had 1 miscarriage, I would prefer to have my family/friends supporting me if something did go wrong - then they would understand the situation. Our reasons for waiting this time were that we have had an incredible amount happening in our lives in the past few months - our nephew was living with us for 5 months (he just left yesterday), my husband had a major career change and we are thinking of selling our house/moving. Ah... so much stress! It actually surprised me that I could get pregnant with all that stress going on, but this baby has a purpose, obviously! Also, the fact that this will be the closest age difference between any of my children makes it interesting. I figured my fertility was supposed to slow down with time, not pick up!

As far as how I'm feeling - I can feel a lot of growth in my uterus in the past couple weeks. I can feel my fundus just a couple inches below my belly button now. I have been a little more nauseous in the past few days - but mostly because I also have a cold and I'm tired and that makes me more susceptible to nausea. Oh well, hopefully I feel better really soon!

I've been feeling a little strange this time around since I haven't seen a doctor or midwife. Normally I would have heard the heartbeat by now, and in that sense, it seems a little surreal. But I can feel the growth and change in my body and I've been here before! I just look forward to feeling the baby move in the next few weeks! I also did purchase a second-hand "Angel Sounds" home doppler. I know there are concerns/risks for ultrasound and doppler technology, but I think what I plan to do is use it very sparingly. And although I could probably use it now to find the baby's heartbeat, I think I will wait a few more weeks - I know that the majority of concerns with doppler technology has to do with frequency of use and use in early pregnancy. So I'm thinking around 18 weeks I'll give it a try, and then just use it every few weeks at the most.

Well, it's nap time for the little ones so I better get them to bed and have a nap myself!

Second Thoughts?

I was reading some one else's blog just a couple days ago and a woman was mentioning her transition from a UC to going back to having a midwife for her birth. She was reasoning that it was unfair to put the responsibility of "if anything goes wrong" onto her support people (specifically her husband,)and felt better about leaving that responsibility to a midwife who was trained. She also mentioned that the post-natal care was a real bonus... and I can agree with that!

So what do I think, and where does that leave me with wanting a natural birth and to have a UP and UC?

Well, I do agree that deciding to UC is a big decision. You are taking the responsibility into your own hands, and there is some element of "risk" involved. HOWEVER, those risks are not likely the kind that could be avoided "if only you had delivered at the hospital". What I mean is, most births are straightforward, with some variation in duration, patterns of contractions, etc. But most complications affecting the baby, if indeed serious, would likely be unavoidable as well at the hospital. My thought, is that you have more risk of complications from medical interventions than you do from "risking" an unassisted home birth.

I do have a caveat on this, however. One must be aware of what normal birth looks like, enough so, that if something is abnormal, you are on top of things. You must be willing to be in touch with yourself - intuition, relying on God, etc, and willing to hear that voice inside when it says "something isn't quite right."

I have to admit, that although I very much believe in natural birth, I have a couple tiny fears in the back of my mind that pop up from time to time. In the last couple of years, I had a friend whose baby, in utero, was diagnosed with a severe, life-threatening heart defect via ultrasound. Fortunately, they were able to do heart surgery within a week after birth and correct the problem. So I do recognize that there is a time and place that technology is helpful... so very helpful. But to be honest, I feel backed into a corner by the medical arena. Even if there were midwives available in my city, I'm not sure they would be entirely comfortable letting me remain pregnant as long as my body typically goes... which is beyond 42 weeks. And if I were to see a doctor, the pressure would be immense. I had enough trouble feeling the pressure from a doctor I saw very few times during my last pregnancy, and once he realized I was avoiding him and was 43 weeks pregnant, he was about to drop me as a patient.

So I think I'm right back where I started. I will take very good care of myself physically, and should the need arise, I will seek medical assistance. I am hoping, and trusting, however, that I will be in good health for the duration of this pregnancy, and that birth will be as uneventful as a hike up the mountain. (You know, some sore muscles and you need to rest and nourish yourself, but all in all you feel good about the accomplishment and are no worse for the wear.)

Here's the baby.... sort of!

Still Keeping My Secret

Well this pregnancy is soaring by already - why, I'm about 1/4 through it since I'll be 11 weeks on Friday. (And that is 1/4 of 44 weeks...) I'm starting to want to tell people but on the other hand, it's kind of fun to keep this secret. We've never kept a pregnancy quiet before, but with all the life/career changes we're going through right now, we just figured we should wait until the dust settles!

As far as how I'm feeling and stuff... It's funny because since I was around the 8-10 week mark, I found myself a little more nervous and more "aware" of my pregnancy, since that was the timing that I misscarried before having my last baby. I found myself wondering if I was really feeling pregnant, or if it was my imagination!

One of my typical pregnancy symptoms that I have the whole pregnancy is nasal congestion. I've read that it is due to changes in hormones and it plauges me from early pregnancy until I deliver. It isn't horrible, but I find myself snorting a little by morning, and needing to blow my nose.

So yes, I'm still congested. So yes, I'm really pregnant - I must be! Not to mention the fatigue and nausea. I haven't thrown up at all this pregnancy (bonus!)but I've felt "off" quite a bit and had the feeling of excess salivation that is really annoying.

On a positive side my cravings are unreal. Not that I'm craving bad food or anything but I will just want a certain food - whether it be a sandwich or grapefruit or whatever. Then when I eat it, it's like my tastebuds are dancing all over the place. Food tastes SOOOO freakin good right now! I love it! But then there are those times where I don't want to eat and everything turns me off - but I know if I don't eat something, I'll feel worse... Oh well.

I think my only challenge right now is getting my 14 (almost 15 month) old to sleep all night. He's doing so much better than he was a couple months ago, but it is hard for me to wake up in the wee hours of the morning to nurse him, and then have to try and get back to sleep. It really disrupts my sleep pattern and I find if I don't sleep enough, I have the worst pregnancy symptoms. Hopefully this is something we'll have figured out in the very near future.

Well, that's all for an update. Nothing much has changed - so nothing to report. I *think* I can feel my uterus just around my pubic bone. It's really hard to tell. I guess if things are all normal, it will be popping out in the next week or so and it will be really easy to feel where it is.

Well, I have a slightly sick baby I need to nurse now...

Prenatal Care Ideas for an Unassisted Pregnancy

I'm exploring all sorts of new ideas for this pregnancy, since I have decided to forgo any "normal" sense of prenatal care. I would have considered seeing a midwife for some prenatal care, but we have no midwives in our city which I find rather unfortunate. However, I'm fairly confident that I will be able to take care of myself and will intuitively know if anything is wrong. It is only at that point, if I sense anything is abnormal or "wrong" that I would seek the help of a medical professional.

So what does prenatal care look like when you plan a freebirth or unassisted pregnancy and birth? First, put very simply, I think it means: taking care of yourself in a pregnant state. I read something in an article that make perfect sense to me. It mentioned how doctors, and even midwives to a certain extent do not provide much in the way of "pre-natal care" rather, they provide prenatal testing and observation. How true that is!

I think of a typical doctor's appointment like I had in my last pregnancy. With my last baby I did plan to go unassisted, but wanted to safety net of a doctor that I could see if needed. So I went to a fraction of the regular appointments that most women would attend in a normal pregnancy care routine.

The appointments looked something like this:

1. Show up in the crowded, stuffy waiting room and check in. Next wait "patiently" or not so patiently next to snuffly kids, old people and other random individuals who may be harboring an infectious illness.

2. Wait longer. Doctors are always overworked, and behind with their patients so it is common for them to be 30-60 minutes behind schedule on any given day.

3. Finally! My name is called. The nurse grabs my chart, checks my weight on a scale and asks for a urine sample. Then I am sent to the cold, boring examination room.

4. Wait some more. Read some out-dated architecture magazines. Check the time... head out to the bathroom in the hall because although I've already given a "sample", I already need to pee again because I've been waiting so long.

5. The doctor arrives. He asks "How are you doing?" not really wanting a full-blown answer... only wanting and requiring any pertinent physical symptoms that may require his attention. He does not want to hear how I'm doing emotionally, nor how I am coping with this pregnancy, nor whether I am eating a healthy diet or continuing to exercise.

6. After some standard questions that are meant to "cover his butt", he checks my blood pressure. Of course, being that this is more like an interrogation room, not a comfy happy place that makes me think healthy thoughts about my baby, I am nervous and my blood pressure is slightly elevated.

7. Doctor quickly listens to baby's heartbeat with a Doppler and measures the height of my fundus. Little information is volunteered to me unless I specifically ask.

8. "See you in a about 4 weeks" he says, as he strips his latex gloves off and leaves the room.

Am I really that far off? I don't think so. I've always found the prenatal care routine in a regular medicalized setting to be cold, unfeeling and purely observational. Then there are all of the tests. Tests that most women probably have no need for... but they are considered routine. All aspects of pregnancy are measured by what is "normal" in the medical textbook. There is very little space for variation despite how different women are and how unique and individual a pregnancy can be.

Here's what I think my prenatal care will look like:

Lots of rest, good nutrition and healthy physical activity for myself.
Observe and track changes in weight, how I feel, fundal height (after about 15 weeks or so) and checking my blood pressure at the drug store monthly and maybe more often in the last weeks.
Listening to my body and baby and how I feel and making decisions based on that.
Massage and Chiropractic care in the later months to help deal with the changes in posture and any back/hip pain that may occur.
Relaxation and enjoyment of my final weeks... not stressing about how "overdue" the baby will go, but enjoying every movement and every day that I keep this baby so close to my heart.

I think the fundamental of my unassisted prenatal care is TRUST. Trusting my body, trusting my intuition, trusting that I was created to grow babies and give birth naturally. Even if I don't follow a textbook example of pregnancy, I believe that I am uniquely equipped to birth naturally and have a wonderful pregnancy and birth!!!

Why Unassisted? My birth history... Part 2

So, where was I in this story?

I think I'm onto my 4th baby and pregnancy.

After such a great birth with my 3rd, and an easy recovery as well, I began to ask myself "What did I need the midwives for during that?"

Not only that, but we ended up moving cities, then, before I became pregnant with our fourth baby, we made plans to move overseas for approximately a year. We found out I was pregnant when we had already booked our tickets and made all the arrangements, so, I knew I was going to have this baby in Asia, and I would likely go unassisted for the birth.

I didn't just view it as "I don't need someone's help" though. There was a transition in me to think that that birth is very natural. The appeal of freebirth made a lot of sense to me - to be unhindered, uninhibited for the event. To be free to move however I wanted, do and say whatever I felt was right!

I won't repeat the whole story of my birth, but when the time came, it all went very simply and normal (and I mean normal for me). My labor was longer than I had hoped, and I was 17 days past my due date. But I felt that all was well. I can honestly say, that from the time my contractions began, up til transition when I became momentarily crazy, then when I pushed my baby girl out - I just KNEW everything was okay. It was so nice to be alone with just me and my husband, soft lights and my own bed to climb into after I showered off. He rinsed her off and covered her up and I held her - amazed at this miracle.

My most recent birth, our 5th child, was not really as simple and straightforward.

I saw a doctor off and on during my pregnancy - hoping that he would let me get away with being more "natural". The biggest problem for me though came from letting the doctor date my pregnancy and becoming confined to a conventional "due date."

My pregnancy was wonderful. I felt great. Towards the end (and I mean when I was already 42 weeks pregnant) I began to have a fair amount of prodomal labor. My husband checked my cervix and found it to be softening and dilated somewhat. But then I hit that dreaded date 43 weeks! Something in me snapped because I just knew that this was the point where people would start to really freak out! In my heart I knew things were okay, and I knew that my baby was doing just fine, but in my mind, I thought something could be wrong and I knew everyone would be after me.

I convinced my husband to do some stretching and "sweeping" of my cervix in hopes that things would be provoked enough to get labor going. It did the trick... sort of. My labor was extremely sporadic, painful and long. So much that I chickened out and went to the hospital (after I'd already been in labor for around 30 hours.)
My doctor met us there (he had phoned us the day before, and was not even certain he would be able to keep me as a patient because I hadn't been to an appointment since my due-date). I eventually got to have an epidural - I just wanted a break from the horrific pain - I think I had pulled a muscle in my back during labor. Then they gave the dreaded Oxytocin to speed up contractions and make them stronger and the baby reacted very badly to that! They turned it off right away and for the next couple hours were very concerned, watching the print outs of his heart rate and making preparations for me to have another c-section.

Thankfully, the O.R. was in use and they couldn't get me in right away. Thankfully, I finally felt the urge to push (and my epidural had most worn off). I tried to get their attention, and finally the doctor gave his approval at me "trying to push" for 10 minutes max, otherwise they'd send me in to go under the knife.

I knew just what to do and asked for the squatting bar to be put up. At first I did try just squatting and hanging onto the bar, but then I went to the position that I was most comfortable with (that worked great for my last birth). I was kneeling, and I put my hands on my knees and had my head against the bar.

With a couple pushes, I felt him moving down and I reached in and felt his head only a couple knuckles deep. "I feel his head" I told everyone - although they were acting like chickens with their heads cut off, and I don't think they took it seriously that I was in charge of the birth now. Suddenly one of the nurses realized I was serious and she told me I had to lay back so the doctor could see better.

"I can't" I told her... darn right! As if I'm going to change what is best for me just so the doctor doesn't have to hunch over and crank his neck to get a view.

Another minute or so and he was out. Success... although not quite the way I'd hoped.

So now... I have a new determination in my desire for an unassisted pregnancy and birth. While I am thankful for the knowledge that I can find in books and all the good that the medical realm has given us - on the other hand I don't want to be confined to the "norms" that it so stereotypically places on me.

I'm taking the word "over-due" out of my vocabulary. (A wise woman, and fellow unassisted birther advised me on that one.) I think that alone will make a huge difference in my perspective in the latter weeks of pregnancy.

Well, I have much more to write about, but that will have to come in another post, another day!

I'm approaching 8 weeks now and feel exhausted and nauseous. Other than that, this pregnancy is going as planned =)