41 weeks and 2 days Pregnant.
I really thought I was in labor on Monday... that would have been quite the miracle for me, to have the baby BEFORE 41 weeks!
On Saturday night I had started to have light contractions fairly consistently. I didn't tell Dan because I didn't want to stress him out with all that's going on (and with him preparing to preach the next morning at church!) But, they kind of went away... Then, Sunday night the same thing. This time I told him! But I didn't figure there was anything to get excited. I am well known for having days or even weeks of prodomal labor - labor that is doing very little, but is all in preparation for the "big day".
Then, early Monday morning while I was still trying to sleep, I noticed a few times that I felt slight little gushes. I thought it was a little strange - either I was really losing control over my bladder, or maybe my water had a slow leak? At any rate, for a couple hours I was too lazy to get out or bed quite yet. Then I got up, finally around 7:30 and went to the bathroom. It was blood! Not bright red bleeding, but more of a bloody mucous. AHA! Also, I still seemed to be having random light contractions. I'll have to say that despite my history with EXTRA long pregnancies and even EXTRA long births, I really thought something was happening!
That morning I asked Dan to check things out, and he guessed I was around 4cm dilated. Oh, and the gross part, there was LOTS of yucky, bloody stuff going on down there. Not like I was bleeding like a period or anything, but... definitely stuff happening. I haven't had this in every labor, but this is a classic example of "bloody show".
So, I was in a bit of a tizzy thinking of all I had to do to get ready for Christmas, and that if I was in early labor, I really needed to get some stuff done and I didn't want to be sitting around, just waiting. So I decided to go into town with Dan (we live 10 minutes outside the city, and only have 1 vehicle) and after running to a few stores, dropped him off to work on the house that we have to move into next week.
I headed to Walmart with the kids, thinking that maybe I could get some Christmas shopping done. Ha ha... We went to the bathroom right off the bat so the kids and I could have a potty break. I noticed a bit more discharge, but nothing substantial.
So we headed across the store to the fishes and the baby department. Suddenly, I felt these blobby gushes coming out of me. Uh-oh! I wondered if it was my water breaking... or if it was just some blood or clots. I stood there, in a bit of a panic, grateful that the kids were in the next aisle over looking at the fish. I felt the front of my jeans (of course, not able to see over my belly) and it felt dry, but I was getting concerned! What would I do if I had a big mess all over me with 5 kids, trying to shop in Walmart!!!!
I went over to the kids and let them look at the fish another couple minutes, then I said I had to go back to the bathroom and we headed back.
I have to tell you it was pretty disgusting. Thankfully I was wearing a full-on pad, not just a panti-liner, in expectation of birth stuff going on. Anyway, there were several turd-sized clots - not too huge, I've certainly had bigger in my time, but they were clots nonetheless. In my head I went through the possibilities, and although I felt at peace, there was that clamoring of fear that said "You don't even have a doctor or midwife to turn to, what are you going to do, stupid!" I began to get logical though, and figured that since I had been sitting in the van for quite a while, that it was not abnormal for blood to pool and clot. And besides, it was still all mucousy and gross, not like it was blood pouring out of me. I said a quick prayer and asked God to have the baby move if things were ok. Immediately, I felt a couple nudges beneath my ribs.
So... needless to say, I didn't feel much like shopping. I stuffed some toilet paper on top of the yucky pad, kicking myself for not having prepared and having another pad in my purse (but there were some in the van). So I waddled around the store, did a couple more things, and decided to get the kids some Timbits before we left. I stood in line next to another mom and she looked over at my shopping cart full of children and said "Oh my... they're all yours?! 5?"
"6." I said, pointing at my basketball. (More like a monster pumpkin.) She asked when I was due, and I said "any day". Her eyes got big and she said "Wow.. you're so small for number six!" Yay... that made my day!
So, I carted the kids back into the van and gave them strict instructions to stay buckled and that they could have 1 Timbit while I was gone. Then I had to take a pad and go to the bathroom AGAIN! The kids looked at me like I was growing a second head, in shock that I had to go AGAIN!!!
Well, the day continued and I kept having contractions and in the midst of it, kept feeling the baby wiggle around (and that was quite reassuring). The bloody show slowed down a lot, so I became less concerned as the day went on. I do remember that when I was in labor with my third, I had bleeding during labor, and it scared me at first - but the midwife said it was totally normal, just a sign that the baby was coming soon!
So, that night I really figured something should have happened, and asked Dan to check me again. But... it wasn't really different except for the fact that my cervix seemed shorter (so more effaced)but not really any more dilated. I went to bed, content with the fact that at least SOMETHING had been accomplished, and I actually had a great sleep that night. In other words... no contractions.
And I haven't really had any contractions since. Two whole days of NOTHING! I don't know whether to be happy or sad because on one hand, I really would prefer to have the baby at least a few days after Christmas, but on the other hand, who wants to stay pregnant when you're this big and uncomfortable!!???
So yesterday was full of tears... disappointment, uncertainty... I want to be excited about this baby coming, but I also feel a lot of stress about us MOVING next Monday. I don't really have the opportunity to nest or anything, I'm just going to have to roll with the punches.
In Conclusion... my sanity has come from a belief that this baby is planned by God... and that HE is fully aware of when it needs to be born. I also find myself thinking of Mary, Jesus' mother... travelling on the back of a donkey, wandering around Bethlehem with Joseph and they can't even find a crappy motel room to stay in!! That must have been scary... and horribly frustrating...
I'm sure this baby will come at the right time, so I'm back to waiting. I think what is bizarre is that when you reach 4-5cm dilated, you are supposed to enter the "active" labor stage. Instead, for me, I've entered the "inactive" stage. Nothing happening... nothing going on. Just have to wait! Oh well, at least some of the work is already done.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Tales from a cervix... (This is X-rated by the way!)
Alright... in the beginning I made myself out to be "alternative" and that this blog was going to be all about taking control and responsibility for my own body, with a knowledge and understanding of pregnancy that doesn't rely primarily on the medical world.
So... this post is not for the squeamish. This may gross you out. This may cause you to think I'm a complete weirdo - and that's okay. But, if you're game for this, read on...
Back when I had my second baby, a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean), we hired midwives to deliver the baby - statistically, I had read that your chance of a natural birth with midwives after a Cesarean were MUCH higher than if you went with a doctor. The midwives were very open. They talked about EVERYTHING. And it was really quite refreshing. We learned so much from them - including, what changes a cervix goes through in late pregnancy/early labor. One of the things I remember is their description of your cervix: Before any "ripening" or dilation or effacing occurs, your cervix is a firm round knobby thing that feels like the end of your nose. As it "ripens" it becomes soft and "mushy" like a ripe peach.
By our third pregnancy, we weren't content to be innocent by-standers in regards to the whole pre-labor activities of my body! Especially, being someone who goes overdue... always overdue and very overdue, I wanted to know if ANYTHING was going on in my body that meant labor should eventually, sometime begin! So I think it was in this, my 3rd pregnancy, that we ventured into the assessment of my cervix. I found it rather awkward to "reach up there" myself, so I assigned my husband the task! Honestly... if we are comfortable having sex and all that... why shouldn't he be able to check my cervix? In fact, it should be a more natural thing than having a doctor - who I barely know - do it!
Okay, so that's the background in this. We became pretty confident and my husband became rather experienced over the next couple pregnancies figuring out how dilated I was and discovering the changes that sometimes happened WEEKS before I actually delivered. For example, I was 3-4 cm dilated for at least a week before I went into labor with my 5th... it was as though my body was slowing working it's way up to labor.
Now, onto this pregnancy. For one thing, I've noticed a crazy increase in discharge (ewww... such a yucky word!) over the past week or so. I don't know if I could say that I lost my mucus plug, but some women lose theirs over time, rather than having a specific "plug" that comes out. I do remember one of my pregnancies that was the case - it happened after some... err.. intimate encounter and it was like "oh gross, there it is, my mucus plug!" Other times, it can slowly melt away like a runny nose. Gross, huh!
So anyway, I've been curious. I decided to try for myself about a week ago to see if I could decipher what was happening inside. My goodness... you really need piano fingers for this job. I've found the best way to get a gander is to squat down, although some women (yes, I'm not the only one who does this) will stand in front of the toilet seat with one foot up in a lunge position. So anyway, I was in this awkward position, and I could just barely feel a knobby thing at the tip of my fingers - aha! Hello cervix - AKA the front door of my baby's current residence! It felt a medium-ripe, I guess, and I think it was also pointing more back than down. As you head towards labor, the cervix will actually shift and begin to point down.
Now yesterday... since I'm officially "overdue", I thought I'd see if there were any changes. I've also noticed a lot more funky feelings down there, so I figured that something might be starting to happen. This time, I could feel like my cervix had shifted a bit - maybe pointing more downwards. And it feels more squishy. The problem is, as you can probably guess, it is SUPER AWKWARD with a humongous belly to do all this assessment - let alone when you're not pregnant! Of course I'm sure a lot has to do with whether you have meaty oven mitts for hands or graceful, slender piano hands. I tend a little toward the former. So I needed a second opinion and requested my husband to "check me out". Well, apparently his reach is better than mine and he determined that I'm about 3cm dilated already! Yahoooooo!!! And he described my cervix as very "floppy". How romantic!
So, that's the latest, greatest update on my pregnancy. Of course, just because I'm starting to dilate, has little bearing on WHEN I'll have this baby. But it is a comfort to me that my body is heading in that direction. I'm on my way to labor-land....
So... this post is not for the squeamish. This may gross you out. This may cause you to think I'm a complete weirdo - and that's okay. But, if you're game for this, read on...
Back when I had my second baby, a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean), we hired midwives to deliver the baby - statistically, I had read that your chance of a natural birth with midwives after a Cesarean were MUCH higher than if you went with a doctor. The midwives were very open. They talked about EVERYTHING. And it was really quite refreshing. We learned so much from them - including, what changes a cervix goes through in late pregnancy/early labor. One of the things I remember is their description of your cervix: Before any "ripening" or dilation or effacing occurs, your cervix is a firm round knobby thing that feels like the end of your nose. As it "ripens" it becomes soft and "mushy" like a ripe peach.
By our third pregnancy, we weren't content to be innocent by-standers in regards to the whole pre-labor activities of my body! Especially, being someone who goes overdue... always overdue and very overdue, I wanted to know if ANYTHING was going on in my body that meant labor should eventually, sometime begin! So I think it was in this, my 3rd pregnancy, that we ventured into the assessment of my cervix. I found it rather awkward to "reach up there" myself, so I assigned my husband the task! Honestly... if we are comfortable having sex and all that... why shouldn't he be able to check my cervix? In fact, it should be a more natural thing than having a doctor - who I barely know - do it!
Okay, so that's the background in this. We became pretty confident and my husband became rather experienced over the next couple pregnancies figuring out how dilated I was and discovering the changes that sometimes happened WEEKS before I actually delivered. For example, I was 3-4 cm dilated for at least a week before I went into labor with my 5th... it was as though my body was slowing working it's way up to labor.
Now, onto this pregnancy. For one thing, I've noticed a crazy increase in discharge (ewww... such a yucky word!) over the past week or so. I don't know if I could say that I lost my mucus plug, but some women lose theirs over time, rather than having a specific "plug" that comes out. I do remember one of my pregnancies that was the case - it happened after some... err.. intimate encounter and it was like "oh gross, there it is, my mucus plug!" Other times, it can slowly melt away like a runny nose. Gross, huh!
So anyway, I've been curious. I decided to try for myself about a week ago to see if I could decipher what was happening inside. My goodness... you really need piano fingers for this job. I've found the best way to get a gander is to squat down, although some women (yes, I'm not the only one who does this) will stand in front of the toilet seat with one foot up in a lunge position. So anyway, I was in this awkward position, and I could just barely feel a knobby thing at the tip of my fingers - aha! Hello cervix - AKA the front door of my baby's current residence! It felt a medium-ripe, I guess, and I think it was also pointing more back than down. As you head towards labor, the cervix will actually shift and begin to point down.
Now yesterday... since I'm officially "overdue", I thought I'd see if there were any changes. I've also noticed a lot more funky feelings down there, so I figured that something might be starting to happen. This time, I could feel like my cervix had shifted a bit - maybe pointing more downwards. And it feels more squishy. The problem is, as you can probably guess, it is SUPER AWKWARD with a humongous belly to do all this assessment - let alone when you're not pregnant! Of course I'm sure a lot has to do with whether you have meaty oven mitts for hands or graceful, slender piano hands. I tend a little toward the former. So I needed a second opinion and requested my husband to "check me out". Well, apparently his reach is better than mine and he determined that I'm about 3cm dilated already! Yahoooooo!!! And he described my cervix as very "floppy". How romantic!
So, that's the latest, greatest update on my pregnancy. Of course, just because I'm starting to dilate, has little bearing on WHEN I'll have this baby. But it is a comfort to me that my body is heading in that direction. I'm on my way to labor-land....
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Due-Date???
So, I have reached "full-term", the "end", my much anticipated "due-date". But what does it mean? Well, to me, I have switched from counting down to 40 weeks, to now counting-up to when this baby wants to be born! It could be 3 weeks - or more, or less.I feel fine - well, I certainly feel "due" now, with the big belly that makes it uncomfortable to sleep, and I started to get swollen ankles every night. But, I do have to admit that I feel...fine. Yep, I could do this for another few weeks and it would be no big deal. So... we shall see.
On a technical note, I am drinking 2 or more small pots of Red Raspberry Leaf tea each day now - to strengthen and tone my uterus. I'm also taking 3-5 500mg capsules of Evening Primrose Oil each day - and that is supposed to help "ripen" your cervix. It gives the potential to make labor quicker, so that sounds good to me! I've also begun to take a natural iron supplement called Floradix. That's about it as far as medical issues. I feel fine, baby is doing fine, and next week is Christmas! Crazy....
Monday, December 7, 2009
Ready or Not???
Well I can't believe I'll be 39 weeks (approximately....) tomorrow!!!
This is ridiculous how quickly this pregnancy is going by, and I don't really feel all that prepared to have a baby any time soon.
I did finally buy some newborn diapers and packed a bag of stuff for the birth and baby, but things with moving and our house are going slower than we'd hoped and we're still living in our old place, and should be moving into the new one "any time". In some ways, I really want to be there - I'm excited about living in the city again, and just having our new house, but on the other hand I'm also not naive to think that it's going to be all fluff and bubbles when we get there! There's going to be so much more work to do... no real kitchen, bathrooms aren't done yet and we probably won't have carpet/laminate, etc., on our floors for a while yet!!!
Anyways, back to this pregnancy. I'm beginning to feel quite pregnant. I notice twingey feelings in my cervix especially when I'm walking around or on my feet for a long time. It feels like my pelvic floor muscles are getting exhausted with holding it all together as well, and I often feel achy by the end of the day!
I've noticed my breasts have really grown again in the past month or so, which is funny because I spent such a short time having "little boobs" when Ben (now 21 months) was slowly weaning himself. He pretty much stopped nursing around 6 weeks ago - although, at that point it was maybe once per day, and had been only once a day since he was about 18 months. So... I guess this will be the shortest break I've ever had from nursing since I started having babies, but then, this is also the quickest I've ever become pregnant.
I've turned 30 in the last week! Wow... so now I'm in the category of those books targeted to the "older mother" - like Your Pregnancy After 30... Ummm... whatever, I don't think I'll bother checking it out from the library!
I've been a little more lazy with my exercise the past couple weeks, so I'm going to try to increase my frequency to 4-5 times a week, but just doing around 20 minutes cardio at a time. I'm stuck without my stairclimber which I've loved working out on my whole pregnancy, so now I do aerobic dvds or find stuff at www.exercise.tv
Tonight I will meet with one of the doulas who will probably be around for my birth. We'll see how that goes. I've had second thoughts and wavered back and forth because I really feel like this birth is going to be straightforward and "easy" and like I probably won't need any extra help. However, I was talking with my husband last night and told him that it's basically like we're purchasing insurance - just in case I need the extra help, it will be there. At least they can be extra hands to take pictures and help clean up!
Okay, I'm off to la la land for a nap... it's quiet time in my house right now!
This is ridiculous how quickly this pregnancy is going by, and I don't really feel all that prepared to have a baby any time soon.
I did finally buy some newborn diapers and packed a bag of stuff for the birth and baby, but things with moving and our house are going slower than we'd hoped and we're still living in our old place, and should be moving into the new one "any time". In some ways, I really want to be there - I'm excited about living in the city again, and just having our new house, but on the other hand I'm also not naive to think that it's going to be all fluff and bubbles when we get there! There's going to be so much more work to do... no real kitchen, bathrooms aren't done yet and we probably won't have carpet/laminate, etc., on our floors for a while yet!!!
Anyways, back to this pregnancy. I'm beginning to feel quite pregnant. I notice twingey feelings in my cervix especially when I'm walking around or on my feet for a long time. It feels like my pelvic floor muscles are getting exhausted with holding it all together as well, and I often feel achy by the end of the day!
I've noticed my breasts have really grown again in the past month or so, which is funny because I spent such a short time having "little boobs" when Ben (now 21 months) was slowly weaning himself. He pretty much stopped nursing around 6 weeks ago - although, at that point it was maybe once per day, and had been only once a day since he was about 18 months. So... I guess this will be the shortest break I've ever had from nursing since I started having babies, but then, this is also the quickest I've ever become pregnant.
I've turned 30 in the last week! Wow... so now I'm in the category of those books targeted to the "older mother" - like Your Pregnancy After 30... Ummm... whatever, I don't think I'll bother checking it out from the library!
I've been a little more lazy with my exercise the past couple weeks, so I'm going to try to increase my frequency to 4-5 times a week, but just doing around 20 minutes cardio at a time. I'm stuck without my stairclimber which I've loved working out on my whole pregnancy, so now I do aerobic dvds or find stuff at www.exercise.tv
Tonight I will meet with one of the doulas who will probably be around for my birth. We'll see how that goes. I've had second thoughts and wavered back and forth because I really feel like this birth is going to be straightforward and "easy" and like I probably won't need any extra help. However, I was talking with my husband last night and told him that it's basically like we're purchasing insurance - just in case I need the extra help, it will be there. At least they can be extra hands to take pictures and help clean up!
Okay, I'm off to la la land for a nap... it's quiet time in my house right now!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Ooops! I'm in my last weeks!
Ummm... so, I've been really busy lately. So busy I haven't been spending all my time thinking about pregnancy and now I'm 37 weeks along!
We are in the midst of moving into a house that needs major renovations (but it will be worth it because we'll have more space, more bathrooms and an awesome location). So all that I've been thinking about and doing lately is packing and moving and doing extra homeschooling with the kids since we'll be in a state of hiatus for a while!
There have been a few developments with my pregnancy though. I have decided to hire a doula (with a back-up doula/secondary doula who happens to be my kids' piano teacher) as labor support. I'm not sure exactly when I will call them - it will either be when the birth is eminent, because everything is going great - or I can call them when things are getting tough if it is as long and drawn out as my last birth.
I don't want someone who will come in and direct my labor - I'm just looking for support and encouragement. If I had a midwife, I imagine it would be much more hands on, because she is responsible for the outcome of the birth. I'm not wanting to give that responsibility away by hiring a doula - in fact, I've pretty much requested that they stay out of the way unless I ask for something. If all is great, they'll just be a glorified photographer and tea-brewer! So that's the plan.
Now the biggest question is how things will look in our house by the time I go into labor. We have so much work to do! This week, Dan is just focusing on finishing up plumbing and electrical so we have a toilet, sink and washer/dryer hook-ups! The drywall and carpet and paint will have to come as we have time over the next few weeks...
I'll post a picture of my growing belly soon - I was going to with this post, but my camera batteries needed to be charged.
Weight wise, I've gained between 25-30 pounds and my weight gain has slowed from what it was in the later second-early third trimester. I've also spent this month cutting out sweets, and that has maybe helped me from gaining extra. I'm still exercising; doing cardio 3-4 times a week for 20-30 minutes. Still feel really good; like I can keep up! The last couple of months I was feeling like my belly was huge, but now it seems to be on the smaller-normal side. I also seem to be measuring more in line with my weeks of pregnancy - whereas before I was quite a few weeks ahead.
So, all is well! The only thing I've really changed is I just started taking Evening Primrose Oil, 500mg, 3X/day. I'm still drinking red-raspberry leaf tea and try to remember to take my multivitamin with iron. I'm taking a Vitamin D supplement as well, especially with all the sickness (H1N1) going around.
Last of all... I've noticed braxton hicks contractions for the last few weeks. So I suppose my body is on it's way to labor, although how far away labor is, I have no idea! Being 3 weeks from my "due date" still means I could be 6 weeks from having this baby! I'm excited, but not at all anxious yet - there's just too much going on!
We are in the midst of moving into a house that needs major renovations (but it will be worth it because we'll have more space, more bathrooms and an awesome location). So all that I've been thinking about and doing lately is packing and moving and doing extra homeschooling with the kids since we'll be in a state of hiatus for a while!
There have been a few developments with my pregnancy though. I have decided to hire a doula (with a back-up doula/secondary doula who happens to be my kids' piano teacher) as labor support. I'm not sure exactly when I will call them - it will either be when the birth is eminent, because everything is going great - or I can call them when things are getting tough if it is as long and drawn out as my last birth.
I don't want someone who will come in and direct my labor - I'm just looking for support and encouragement. If I had a midwife, I imagine it would be much more hands on, because she is responsible for the outcome of the birth. I'm not wanting to give that responsibility away by hiring a doula - in fact, I've pretty much requested that they stay out of the way unless I ask for something. If all is great, they'll just be a glorified photographer and tea-brewer! So that's the plan.
Now the biggest question is how things will look in our house by the time I go into labor. We have so much work to do! This week, Dan is just focusing on finishing up plumbing and electrical so we have a toilet, sink and washer/dryer hook-ups! The drywall and carpet and paint will have to come as we have time over the next few weeks...
I'll post a picture of my growing belly soon - I was going to with this post, but my camera batteries needed to be charged.
Weight wise, I've gained between 25-30 pounds and my weight gain has slowed from what it was in the later second-early third trimester. I've also spent this month cutting out sweets, and that has maybe helped me from gaining extra. I'm still exercising; doing cardio 3-4 times a week for 20-30 minutes. Still feel really good; like I can keep up! The last couple of months I was feeling like my belly was huge, but now it seems to be on the smaller-normal side. I also seem to be measuring more in line with my weeks of pregnancy - whereas before I was quite a few weeks ahead.
So, all is well! The only thing I've really changed is I just started taking Evening Primrose Oil, 500mg, 3X/day. I'm still drinking red-raspberry leaf tea and try to remember to take my multivitamin with iron. I'm taking a Vitamin D supplement as well, especially with all the sickness (H1N1) going around.
Last of all... I've noticed braxton hicks contractions for the last few weeks. So I suppose my body is on it's way to labor, although how far away labor is, I have no idea! Being 3 weeks from my "due date" still means I could be 6 weeks from having this baby! I'm excited, but not at all anxious yet - there's just too much going on!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Growth Spurt!
Well, that's me and my growing bump - taken a couple days ago at *20 weeks, 3 days* pregnant. I've had a real growth spurt over the last few weeks, including gaining about 5 pounds in 2 weeks time! I'm not too worried... I have only gained about 9 pounds so far - and if you take into mind that I actually lost weight since becoming pregnant, I've only gained about 1 or 2 pounds compared to my pre-pregnancy weight.Diet wise, I want to do better. It occurred to me that I'm not likely getting enough iron - I did a little Google search about anemia and found out that headaches (which I have been having more frequently, for seemingly no good reason) are a symptom, along with fatigue, dizziness and irritability. Ha! I don't know if I can blame my grumpiness on a lack of iron, but it's a good excuse anyway!
Anyway, I am going to work on being more mindful of my natural intake of iron from various food sources... and probably when we return from our vacation (we're heading out for a couple weeks) I will buy some Floradix (a natural iron supplement) to boost my iron!
We have been super busy lately, getting our house ready to sell - and now that it is on the market, I have to be extra vigilant in keeping it clean and tidy. That's a lot of work with 5 kids underfoot, but we're learning to work together!
As far as the little Sweet Pea... I have been feeling so much strong movement, and this little one is so active! I am measuring around 23-24 (last week) and although that is ahead of where I should be, I'm not going to expect that I'm too much further along - yet. However, I have my suspicions that I could be at least a week further along because of the activity I've felt and the pregnancy symptoms I felt before I had a positive test. Well... not that that matters much anyway. I know I'll be late, it's only a matter of how late!
That's all for now! I think I'll finish my cup of Red Raspberry Leaf tea now... extra enjoyable on this dreary, rainy summer day.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The news is out!
This is the little guy who is no longer the youngest in the family anymore!
Over the past few weeks, we've been letting people know our "little secret" and now, since there are so many people to tell, I found a creative way to spread the word. I made this picture my profile picture in Facebook and wrote "I believe in meaningful tattoos". It's funny how many people take a few moments before they really read the tattoo and put 2 and 2 together!
I am finding that although I am totally thrilled to be having another baby, and every pregnancy is exciting and special to me, the idea of another child really isn't a big deal! You get to the point where it's like... What's one more... the more the merrier!
So on a "medical" note, we used our Angel Sounds home doppler this week. I know I had intended to wait until I was a little further along, but I just couldn't resist. I have been feeling this baby move these past couple weeks, and there was something sentimental to me about hearing the heartbeat for the first time. So, on Tuesday afternoon, we fairly easily found the baby's heartbeat! The one thing that is different about the Angel Sounds doppler is that instead of a "clippitty clop" horse trot sound that you hear with the commercial doppler at the doctor's office, you just hear the more swooshy sound, but it is unmistakably fast. Since we could hear two different heartbeats (mine, which is slower) and the fast one, we knew for sure who we were listening to! It was pretty cool.
So tomorrow I will be 17 weeks pregnant (approximately..) I just checked out my exercise log, and because I lost some weight right at the beginning of my pregnancy, so far I have not gained any weight, I'm still about 4 pounds less then when I started out. I'm not worried at all because I have seen my weight start to creep up slightly in the past few weeks by a couple pounds, and I have been trying to eat well and I still exercise.
I started to drink Red Raspberry Leaf tea this week as well. I'm starting with one tea bag per day (or 1 small pot's worth) and I plan to work up to about 3 bags a day in the last couple months. I wonder a little if that was part of my problem with my last labor. If my uterus is "toned" as they say, then maybe my labor would be more efficient. I can't remember if I had been drinking RRL tea prior to my easiest labor (#3, a waterbirth) but I do remember that I had been exercising a bit more consistently, albeit just one my exercise bike for 20 minutes, 3 times a week.
This time around I am exercising a little more strenuously, using my stairclimber 3-4 times a week, usually for 30-40 min. I'm always quite sweaty and hot by the end and I work up my heart rate! I'll have to write a blog about exercise during pregnancy in the near future because this is one of the issues that there is a lot of controversy about.
Okay, it's time for me to get on with my day!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Checking out some good links!
I'm home alone for a bit...
It's Canada day and my husband took the big kids to watch fireworks while I stay home with our sleeping toddler.
I've been looking for some good unassisted birth links...
http://www.empoweredchildbirth.com/about.html
http://www.unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html
http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/
I love the picture on Laura Shanley's site (the link above) because that birth position is the one I gravitate towards and find perfect - when no one is telling me what to do!!!
Well, I'll be sure to add some more links later... time to head to bed!
It's Canada day and my husband took the big kids to watch fireworks while I stay home with our sleeping toddler.
I've been looking for some good unassisted birth links...
http://www.empoweredchildbirth.com/about.html
http://www.unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html
http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/
I love the picture on Laura Shanley's site (the link above) because that birth position is the one I gravitate towards and find perfect - when no one is telling me what to do!!!
Well, I'll be sure to add some more links later... time to head to bed!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Second Trimester!
Yay! I've reached the second trimester. And to christen it, I've acquired a horrible cold. Yuck!On another note, last night we told the kids about the new baby. Actually, my 9 year old daughter guessed when we said that we had something to tell them. Silly, insightful girl! It is really neat how in a big family, no one is upset by the thought of another sibling to share with... another person to take care of. They are all thrilled, wondering if it will be a boy or girl - and I think most votes are out for another boy so we are "even".
So just to make it clear, I'm not the type of person to wait out the first trimester for worry that I might miscarry. Even though I've had 1 miscarriage, I would prefer to have my family/friends supporting me if something did go wrong - then they would understand the situation. Our reasons for waiting this time were that we have had an incredible amount happening in our lives in the past few months - our nephew was living with us for 5 months (he just left yesterday), my husband had a major career change and we are thinking of selling our house/moving. Ah... so much stress! It actually surprised me that I could get pregnant with all that stress going on, but this baby has a purpose, obviously! Also, the fact that this will be the closest age difference between any of my children makes it interesting. I figured my fertility was supposed to slow down with time, not pick up!
As far as how I'm feeling - I can feel a lot of growth in my uterus in the past couple weeks. I can feel my fundus just a couple inches below my belly button now. I have been a little more nauseous in the past few days - but mostly because I also have a cold and I'm tired and that makes me more susceptible to nausea. Oh well, hopefully I feel better really soon!
I've been feeling a little strange this time around since I haven't seen a doctor or midwife. Normally I would have heard the heartbeat by now, and in that sense, it seems a little surreal. But I can feel the growth and change in my body and I've been here before! I just look forward to feeling the baby move in the next few weeks! I also did purchase a second-hand "Angel Sounds" home doppler. I know there are concerns/risks for ultrasound and doppler technology, but I think what I plan to do is use it very sparingly. And although I could probably use it now to find the baby's heartbeat, I think I will wait a few more weeks - I know that the majority of concerns with doppler technology has to do with frequency of use and use in early pregnancy. So I'm thinking around 18 weeks I'll give it a try, and then just use it every few weeks at the most.
Well, it's nap time for the little ones so I better get them to bed and have a nap myself!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Second Thoughts?
I was reading some one else's blog just a couple days ago and a woman was mentioning her transition from a UC to going back to having a midwife for her birth. She was reasoning that it was unfair to put the responsibility of "if anything goes wrong" onto her support people (specifically her husband,)and felt better about leaving that responsibility to a midwife who was trained. She also mentioned that the post-natal care was a real bonus... and I can agree with that!
So what do I think, and where does that leave me with wanting a natural birth and to have a UP and UC?
Well, I do agree that deciding to UC is a big decision. You are taking the responsibility into your own hands, and there is some element of "risk" involved. HOWEVER, those risks are not likely the kind that could be avoided "if only you had delivered at the hospital". What I mean is, most births are straightforward, with some variation in duration, patterns of contractions, etc. But most complications affecting the baby, if indeed serious, would likely be unavoidable as well at the hospital. My thought, is that you have more risk of complications from medical interventions than you do from "risking" an unassisted home birth.
I do have a caveat on this, however. One must be aware of what normal birth looks like, enough so, that if something is abnormal, you are on top of things. You must be willing to be in touch with yourself - intuition, relying on God, etc, and willing to hear that voice inside when it says "something isn't quite right."
I have to admit, that although I very much believe in natural birth, I have a couple tiny fears in the back of my mind that pop up from time to time. In the last couple of years, I had a friend whose baby, in utero, was diagnosed with a severe, life-threatening heart defect via ultrasound. Fortunately, they were able to do heart surgery within a week after birth and correct the problem. So I do recognize that there is a time and place that technology is helpful... so very helpful. But to be honest, I feel backed into a corner by the medical arena. Even if there were midwives available in my city, I'm not sure they would be entirely comfortable letting me remain pregnant as long as my body typically goes... which is beyond 42 weeks. And if I were to see a doctor, the pressure would be immense. I had enough trouble feeling the pressure from a doctor I saw very few times during my last pregnancy, and once he realized I was avoiding him and was 43 weeks pregnant, he was about to drop me as a patient.
So I think I'm right back where I started. I will take very good care of myself physically, and should the need arise, I will seek medical assistance. I am hoping, and trusting, however, that I will be in good health for the duration of this pregnancy, and that birth will be as uneventful as a hike up the mountain. (You know, some sore muscles and you need to rest and nourish yourself, but all in all you feel good about the accomplishment and are no worse for the wear.)
So what do I think, and where does that leave me with wanting a natural birth and to have a UP and UC?
Well, I do agree that deciding to UC is a big decision. You are taking the responsibility into your own hands, and there is some element of "risk" involved. HOWEVER, those risks are not likely the kind that could be avoided "if only you had delivered at the hospital". What I mean is, most births are straightforward, with some variation in duration, patterns of contractions, etc. But most complications affecting the baby, if indeed serious, would likely be unavoidable as well at the hospital. My thought, is that you have more risk of complications from medical interventions than you do from "risking" an unassisted home birth.
I do have a caveat on this, however. One must be aware of what normal birth looks like, enough so, that if something is abnormal, you are on top of things. You must be willing to be in touch with yourself - intuition, relying on God, etc, and willing to hear that voice inside when it says "something isn't quite right."
I have to admit, that although I very much believe in natural birth, I have a couple tiny fears in the back of my mind that pop up from time to time. In the last couple of years, I had a friend whose baby, in utero, was diagnosed with a severe, life-threatening heart defect via ultrasound. Fortunately, they were able to do heart surgery within a week after birth and correct the problem. So I do recognize that there is a time and place that technology is helpful... so very helpful. But to be honest, I feel backed into a corner by the medical arena. Even if there were midwives available in my city, I'm not sure they would be entirely comfortable letting me remain pregnant as long as my body typically goes... which is beyond 42 weeks. And if I were to see a doctor, the pressure would be immense. I had enough trouble feeling the pressure from a doctor I saw very few times during my last pregnancy, and once he realized I was avoiding him and was 43 weeks pregnant, he was about to drop me as a patient.
So I think I'm right back where I started. I will take very good care of myself physically, and should the need arise, I will seek medical assistance. I am hoping, and trusting, however, that I will be in good health for the duration of this pregnancy, and that birth will be as uneventful as a hike up the mountain. (You know, some sore muscles and you need to rest and nourish yourself, but all in all you feel good about the accomplishment and are no worse for the wear.)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Still Keeping My Secret
Well this pregnancy is soaring by already - why, I'm about 1/4 through it since I'll be 11 weeks on Friday. (And that is 1/4 of 44 weeks...) I'm starting to want to tell people but on the other hand, it's kind of fun to keep this secret. We've never kept a pregnancy quiet before, but with all the life/career changes we're going through right now, we just figured we should wait until the dust settles!
As far as how I'm feeling and stuff... It's funny because since I was around the 8-10 week mark, I found myself a little more nervous and more "aware" of my pregnancy, since that was the timing that I misscarried before having my last baby. I found myself wondering if I was really feeling pregnant, or if it was my imagination!
One of my typical pregnancy symptoms that I have the whole pregnancy is nasal congestion. I've read that it is due to changes in hormones and it plauges me from early pregnancy until I deliver. It isn't horrible, but I find myself snorting a little by morning, and needing to blow my nose.
So yes, I'm still congested. So yes, I'm really pregnant - I must be! Not to mention the fatigue and nausea. I haven't thrown up at all this pregnancy (bonus!)but I've felt "off" quite a bit and had the feeling of excess salivation that is really annoying.
On a positive side my cravings are unreal. Not that I'm craving bad food or anything but I will just want a certain food - whether it be a sandwich or grapefruit or whatever. Then when I eat it, it's like my tastebuds are dancing all over the place. Food tastes SOOOO freakin good right now! I love it! But then there are those times where I don't want to eat and everything turns me off - but I know if I don't eat something, I'll feel worse... Oh well.
I think my only challenge right now is getting my 14 (almost 15 month) old to sleep all night. He's doing so much better than he was a couple months ago, but it is hard for me to wake up in the wee hours of the morning to nurse him, and then have to try and get back to sleep. It really disrupts my sleep pattern and I find if I don't sleep enough, I have the worst pregnancy symptoms. Hopefully this is something we'll have figured out in the very near future.
Well, that's all for an update. Nothing much has changed - so nothing to report. I *think* I can feel my uterus just around my pubic bone. It's really hard to tell. I guess if things are all normal, it will be popping out in the next week or so and it will be really easy to feel where it is.
Well, I have a slightly sick baby I need to nurse now...
As far as how I'm feeling and stuff... It's funny because since I was around the 8-10 week mark, I found myself a little more nervous and more "aware" of my pregnancy, since that was the timing that I misscarried before having my last baby. I found myself wondering if I was really feeling pregnant, or if it was my imagination!
One of my typical pregnancy symptoms that I have the whole pregnancy is nasal congestion. I've read that it is due to changes in hormones and it plauges me from early pregnancy until I deliver. It isn't horrible, but I find myself snorting a little by morning, and needing to blow my nose.
So yes, I'm still congested. So yes, I'm really pregnant - I must be! Not to mention the fatigue and nausea. I haven't thrown up at all this pregnancy (bonus!)but I've felt "off" quite a bit and had the feeling of excess salivation that is really annoying.
On a positive side my cravings are unreal. Not that I'm craving bad food or anything but I will just want a certain food - whether it be a sandwich or grapefruit or whatever. Then when I eat it, it's like my tastebuds are dancing all over the place. Food tastes SOOOO freakin good right now! I love it! But then there are those times where I don't want to eat and everything turns me off - but I know if I don't eat something, I'll feel worse... Oh well.
I think my only challenge right now is getting my 14 (almost 15 month) old to sleep all night. He's doing so much better than he was a couple months ago, but it is hard for me to wake up in the wee hours of the morning to nurse him, and then have to try and get back to sleep. It really disrupts my sleep pattern and I find if I don't sleep enough, I have the worst pregnancy symptoms. Hopefully this is something we'll have figured out in the very near future.
Well, that's all for an update. Nothing much has changed - so nothing to report. I *think* I can feel my uterus just around my pubic bone. It's really hard to tell. I guess if things are all normal, it will be popping out in the next week or so and it will be really easy to feel where it is.
Well, I have a slightly sick baby I need to nurse now...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Prenatal Care Ideas for an Unassisted Pregnancy
I'm exploring all sorts of new ideas for this pregnancy, since I have decided to forgo any "normal" sense of prenatal care. I would have considered seeing a midwife for some prenatal care, but we have no midwives in our city which I find rather unfortunate. However, I'm fairly confident that I will be able to take care of myself and will intuitively know if anything is wrong. It is only at that point, if I sense anything is abnormal or "wrong" that I would seek the help of a medical professional.
So what does prenatal care look like when you plan a freebirth or unassisted pregnancy and birth? First, put very simply, I think it means: taking care of yourself in a pregnant state. I read something in an article that make perfect sense to me. It mentioned how doctors, and even midwives to a certain extent do not provide much in the way of "pre-natal care" rather, they provide prenatal testing and observation. How true that is!
I think of a typical doctor's appointment like I had in my last pregnancy. With my last baby I did plan to go unassisted, but wanted to safety net of a doctor that I could see if needed. So I went to a fraction of the regular appointments that most women would attend in a normal pregnancy care routine.
The appointments looked something like this:
1. Show up in the crowded, stuffy waiting room and check in. Next wait "patiently" or not so patiently next to snuffly kids, old people and other random individuals who may be harboring an infectious illness.
2. Wait longer. Doctors are always overworked, and behind with their patients so it is common for them to be 30-60 minutes behind schedule on any given day.
3. Finally! My name is called. The nurse grabs my chart, checks my weight on a scale and asks for a urine sample. Then I am sent to the cold, boring examination room.
4. Wait some more. Read some out-dated architecture magazines. Check the time... head out to the bathroom in the hall because although I've already given a "sample", I already need to pee again because I've been waiting so long.
5. The doctor arrives. He asks "How are you doing?" not really wanting a full-blown answer... only wanting and requiring any pertinent physical symptoms that may require his attention. He does not want to hear how I'm doing emotionally, nor how I am coping with this pregnancy, nor whether I am eating a healthy diet or continuing to exercise.
6. After some standard questions that are meant to "cover his butt", he checks my blood pressure. Of course, being that this is more like an interrogation room, not a comfy happy place that makes me think healthy thoughts about my baby, I am nervous and my blood pressure is slightly elevated.
7. Doctor quickly listens to baby's heartbeat with a Doppler and measures the height of my fundus. Little information is volunteered to me unless I specifically ask.
8. "See you in a about 4 weeks" he says, as he strips his latex gloves off and leaves the room.
Am I really that far off? I don't think so. I've always found the prenatal care routine in a regular medicalized setting to be cold, unfeeling and purely observational. Then there are all of the tests. Tests that most women probably have no need for... but they are considered routine. All aspects of pregnancy are measured by what is "normal" in the medical textbook. There is very little space for variation despite how different women are and how unique and individual a pregnancy can be.
Here's what I think my prenatal care will look like:
Lots of rest, good nutrition and healthy physical activity for myself.
Observe and track changes in weight, how I feel, fundal height (after about 15 weeks or so) and checking my blood pressure at the drug store monthly and maybe more often in the last weeks.
Listening to my body and baby and how I feel and making decisions based on that.
Massage and Chiropractic care in the later months to help deal with the changes in posture and any back/hip pain that may occur.
Relaxation and enjoyment of my final weeks... not stressing about how "overdue" the baby will go, but enjoying every movement and every day that I keep this baby so close to my heart.
I think the fundamental of my unassisted prenatal care is TRUST. Trusting my body, trusting my intuition, trusting that I was created to grow babies and give birth naturally. Even if I don't follow a textbook example of pregnancy, I believe that I am uniquely equipped to birth naturally and have a wonderful pregnancy and birth!!!
So what does prenatal care look like when you plan a freebirth or unassisted pregnancy and birth? First, put very simply, I think it means: taking care of yourself in a pregnant state. I read something in an article that make perfect sense to me. It mentioned how doctors, and even midwives to a certain extent do not provide much in the way of "pre-natal care" rather, they provide prenatal testing and observation. How true that is!
I think of a typical doctor's appointment like I had in my last pregnancy. With my last baby I did plan to go unassisted, but wanted to safety net of a doctor that I could see if needed. So I went to a fraction of the regular appointments that most women would attend in a normal pregnancy care routine.
The appointments looked something like this:
1. Show up in the crowded, stuffy waiting room and check in. Next wait "patiently" or not so patiently next to snuffly kids, old people and other random individuals who may be harboring an infectious illness.
2. Wait longer. Doctors are always overworked, and behind with their patients so it is common for them to be 30-60 minutes behind schedule on any given day.
3. Finally! My name is called. The nurse grabs my chart, checks my weight on a scale and asks for a urine sample. Then I am sent to the cold, boring examination room.
4. Wait some more. Read some out-dated architecture magazines. Check the time... head out to the bathroom in the hall because although I've already given a "sample", I already need to pee again because I've been waiting so long.
5. The doctor arrives. He asks "How are you doing?" not really wanting a full-blown answer... only wanting and requiring any pertinent physical symptoms that may require his attention. He does not want to hear how I'm doing emotionally, nor how I am coping with this pregnancy, nor whether I am eating a healthy diet or continuing to exercise.
6. After some standard questions that are meant to "cover his butt", he checks my blood pressure. Of course, being that this is more like an interrogation room, not a comfy happy place that makes me think healthy thoughts about my baby, I am nervous and my blood pressure is slightly elevated.
7. Doctor quickly listens to baby's heartbeat with a Doppler and measures the height of my fundus. Little information is volunteered to me unless I specifically ask.
8. "See you in a about 4 weeks" he says, as he strips his latex gloves off and leaves the room.
Am I really that far off? I don't think so. I've always found the prenatal care routine in a regular medicalized setting to be cold, unfeeling and purely observational. Then there are all of the tests. Tests that most women probably have no need for... but they are considered routine. All aspects of pregnancy are measured by what is "normal" in the medical textbook. There is very little space for variation despite how different women are and how unique and individual a pregnancy can be.
Here's what I think my prenatal care will look like:
Lots of rest, good nutrition and healthy physical activity for myself.
Observe and track changes in weight, how I feel, fundal height (after about 15 weeks or so) and checking my blood pressure at the drug store monthly and maybe more often in the last weeks.
Listening to my body and baby and how I feel and making decisions based on that.
Massage and Chiropractic care in the later months to help deal with the changes in posture and any back/hip pain that may occur.
Relaxation and enjoyment of my final weeks... not stressing about how "overdue" the baby will go, but enjoying every movement and every day that I keep this baby so close to my heart.
I think the fundamental of my unassisted prenatal care is TRUST. Trusting my body, trusting my intuition, trusting that I was created to grow babies and give birth naturally. Even if I don't follow a textbook example of pregnancy, I believe that I am uniquely equipped to birth naturally and have a wonderful pregnancy and birth!!!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Why Unassisted? My birth history... Part 2
So, where was I in this story?
I think I'm onto my 4th baby and pregnancy.
After such a great birth with my 3rd, and an easy recovery as well, I began to ask myself "What did I need the midwives for during that?"
Not only that, but we ended up moving cities, then, before I became pregnant with our fourth baby, we made plans to move overseas for approximately a year. We found out I was pregnant when we had already booked our tickets and made all the arrangements, so, I knew I was going to have this baby in Asia, and I would likely go unassisted for the birth.
I didn't just view it as "I don't need someone's help" though. There was a transition in me to think that that birth is very natural. The appeal of freebirth made a lot of sense to me - to be unhindered, uninhibited for the event. To be free to move however I wanted, do and say whatever I felt was right!
I won't repeat the whole story of my birth, but when the time came, it all went very simply and normal (and I mean normal for me). My labor was longer than I had hoped, and I was 17 days past my due date. But I felt that all was well. I can honestly say, that from the time my contractions began, up til transition when I became momentarily crazy, then when I pushed my baby girl out - I just KNEW everything was okay. It was so nice to be alone with just me and my husband, soft lights and my own bed to climb into after I showered off. He rinsed her off and covered her up and I held her - amazed at this miracle.
My most recent birth, our 5th child, was not really as simple and straightforward.
I saw a doctor off and on during my pregnancy - hoping that he would let me get away with being more "natural". The biggest problem for me though came from letting the doctor date my pregnancy and becoming confined to a conventional "due date."
My pregnancy was wonderful. I felt great. Towards the end (and I mean when I was already 42 weeks pregnant) I began to have a fair amount of prodomal labor. My husband checked my cervix and found it to be softening and dilated somewhat. But then I hit that dreaded date 43 weeks! Something in me snapped because I just knew that this was the point where people would start to really freak out! In my heart I knew things were okay, and I knew that my baby was doing just fine, but in my mind, I thought something could be wrong and I knew everyone would be after me.
I convinced my husband to do some stretching and "sweeping" of my cervix in hopes that things would be provoked enough to get labor going. It did the trick... sort of. My labor was extremely sporadic, painful and long. So much that I chickened out and went to the hospital (after I'd already been in labor for around 30 hours.)
My doctor met us there (he had phoned us the day before, and was not even certain he would be able to keep me as a patient because I hadn't been to an appointment since my due-date). I eventually got to have an epidural - I just wanted a break from the horrific pain - I think I had pulled a muscle in my back during labor. Then they gave the dreaded Oxytocin to speed up contractions and make them stronger and the baby reacted very badly to that! They turned it off right away and for the next couple hours were very concerned, watching the print outs of his heart rate and making preparations for me to have another c-section.
Thankfully, the O.R. was in use and they couldn't get me in right away. Thankfully, I finally felt the urge to push (and my epidural had most worn off). I tried to get their attention, and finally the doctor gave his approval at me "trying to push" for 10 minutes max, otherwise they'd send me in to go under the knife.
I knew just what to do and asked for the squatting bar to be put up. At first I did try just squatting and hanging onto the bar, but then I went to the position that I was most comfortable with (that worked great for my last birth). I was kneeling, and I put my hands on my knees and had my head against the bar.
With a couple pushes, I felt him moving down and I reached in and felt his head only a couple knuckles deep. "I feel his head" I told everyone - although they were acting like chickens with their heads cut off, and I don't think they took it seriously that I was in charge of the birth now. Suddenly one of the nurses realized I was serious and she told me I had to lay back so the doctor could see better.
"I can't" I told her... darn right! As if I'm going to change what is best for me just so the doctor doesn't have to hunch over and crank his neck to get a view.
Another minute or so and he was out. Success... although not quite the way I'd hoped.
So now... I have a new determination in my desire for an unassisted pregnancy and birth. While I am thankful for the knowledge that I can find in books and all the good that the medical realm has given us - on the other hand I don't want to be confined to the "norms" that it so stereotypically places on me.
I'm taking the word "over-due" out of my vocabulary. (A wise woman, and fellow unassisted birther advised me on that one.) I think that alone will make a huge difference in my perspective in the latter weeks of pregnancy.
Well, I have much more to write about, but that will have to come in another post, another day!
I'm approaching 8 weeks now and feel exhausted and nauseous. Other than that, this pregnancy is going as planned =)
I think I'm onto my 4th baby and pregnancy.
After such a great birth with my 3rd, and an easy recovery as well, I began to ask myself "What did I need the midwives for during that?"
Not only that, but we ended up moving cities, then, before I became pregnant with our fourth baby, we made plans to move overseas for approximately a year. We found out I was pregnant when we had already booked our tickets and made all the arrangements, so, I knew I was going to have this baby in Asia, and I would likely go unassisted for the birth.
I didn't just view it as "I don't need someone's help" though. There was a transition in me to think that that birth is very natural. The appeal of freebirth made a lot of sense to me - to be unhindered, uninhibited for the event. To be free to move however I wanted, do and say whatever I felt was right!
I won't repeat the whole story of my birth, but when the time came, it all went very simply and normal (and I mean normal for me). My labor was longer than I had hoped, and I was 17 days past my due date. But I felt that all was well. I can honestly say, that from the time my contractions began, up til transition when I became momentarily crazy, then when I pushed my baby girl out - I just KNEW everything was okay. It was so nice to be alone with just me and my husband, soft lights and my own bed to climb into after I showered off. He rinsed her off and covered her up and I held her - amazed at this miracle.
My most recent birth, our 5th child, was not really as simple and straightforward.
I saw a doctor off and on during my pregnancy - hoping that he would let me get away with being more "natural". The biggest problem for me though came from letting the doctor date my pregnancy and becoming confined to a conventional "due date."
My pregnancy was wonderful. I felt great. Towards the end (and I mean when I was already 42 weeks pregnant) I began to have a fair amount of prodomal labor. My husband checked my cervix and found it to be softening and dilated somewhat. But then I hit that dreaded date 43 weeks! Something in me snapped because I just knew that this was the point where people would start to really freak out! In my heart I knew things were okay, and I knew that my baby was doing just fine, but in my mind, I thought something could be wrong and I knew everyone would be after me.
I convinced my husband to do some stretching and "sweeping" of my cervix in hopes that things would be provoked enough to get labor going. It did the trick... sort of. My labor was extremely sporadic, painful and long. So much that I chickened out and went to the hospital (after I'd already been in labor for around 30 hours.)
My doctor met us there (he had phoned us the day before, and was not even certain he would be able to keep me as a patient because I hadn't been to an appointment since my due-date). I eventually got to have an epidural - I just wanted a break from the horrific pain - I think I had pulled a muscle in my back during labor. Then they gave the dreaded Oxytocin to speed up contractions and make them stronger and the baby reacted very badly to that! They turned it off right away and for the next couple hours were very concerned, watching the print outs of his heart rate and making preparations for me to have another c-section.
Thankfully, the O.R. was in use and they couldn't get me in right away. Thankfully, I finally felt the urge to push (and my epidural had most worn off). I tried to get their attention, and finally the doctor gave his approval at me "trying to push" for 10 minutes max, otherwise they'd send me in to go under the knife.
I knew just what to do and asked for the squatting bar to be put up. At first I did try just squatting and hanging onto the bar, but then I went to the position that I was most comfortable with (that worked great for my last birth). I was kneeling, and I put my hands on my knees and had my head against the bar.
With a couple pushes, I felt him moving down and I reached in and felt his head only a couple knuckles deep. "I feel his head" I told everyone - although they were acting like chickens with their heads cut off, and I don't think they took it seriously that I was in charge of the birth now. Suddenly one of the nurses realized I was serious and she told me I had to lay back so the doctor could see better.
"I can't" I told her... darn right! As if I'm going to change what is best for me just so the doctor doesn't have to hunch over and crank his neck to get a view.
Another minute or so and he was out. Success... although not quite the way I'd hoped.
So now... I have a new determination in my desire for an unassisted pregnancy and birth. While I am thankful for the knowledge that I can find in books and all the good that the medical realm has given us - on the other hand I don't want to be confined to the "norms" that it so stereotypically places on me.
I'm taking the word "over-due" out of my vocabulary. (A wise woman, and fellow unassisted birther advised me on that one.) I think that alone will make a huge difference in my perspective in the latter weeks of pregnancy.
Well, I have much more to write about, but that will have to come in another post, another day!
I'm approaching 8 weeks now and feel exhausted and nauseous. Other than that, this pregnancy is going as planned =)
Friday, April 17, 2009
Why Unassisted? My birth history... Part 1
There's a growing controversy surrounding unassisted births and unassisted pregnancies in our nation. It has gained the spotlight numerous times in newspaper articles and television broadcasts... and typically isn't well responded to - especially by the medical arena.
Why would an intelligent, healthy woman in the western world resort to unassisted birth or UC as it is commonly referred to? And why live through an unassisted pregnancy (UP) when we have so many "amazing" resources available to us?
My journey began as a young married woman, pregnant for the first time and excited about the prospects of "giving birth". I knew I didn't want to be one of those "weaker women" who had to be dosed up on tons of drugs and couldn't handle the pain. I was also very curious about the workings of my body and expected that labor should be something that comes naturally. A friend referred me to her "pro-natural" doctor and things progressed quite normally. I went for the tests they told me to go to, had my monthly, then weekly appointments - albeit spending more time in the waiting room than with the doctor. But she knew what she was doing, right? What did I have to be concerned about?
I gained an enormous amount of weight... extra padding in the first trimester because my eating habits became scattered and random, affected by the morning sickness and the need to "eat for two"! Then towards the end of the pregnancy I began to retain a lot of water. My ankles were swollen and you could press your finger into my lower leg an leave a dent for several minutes. Thankfully, it was nothing serious - my blood pressure remained normal and baby was doing fine.
I started to have Braxton hicks contractions in the last few weeks... Also, my doctor sent me in for an ultrasound because I was so huge. So at 39 weeks we found out that I had polyhydramnois, or an excess of amniotic fluid. It wasn't considered serious, but something to keep an eye on.
On Thanksgiving day (just before my due date) I remember hanging out at my parent's house and feeling the baby doing gymnastics in my belly. I didn't think too much of it until I had another ultrasound at 41 weeks and found out that the baby had become breech. The doctor gave me the good news and the bad news. I would be having the baby very soon and the bad news, it would be via c-section. I asked whether they could turn the baby and was given the story of how risky that was, that most often the baby would go into distress if you tried and then I would be in for an emergency c-section and be cut open stem to stern (not the conventional way.. and much more risky in subsequent pregnancies).
On Friday, October 15, I was booked for my c-section and willingly yet nervously awaited the "birth" of my baby. I remember shaking with fear when I was in the operating room as the anesthesiologist gave me the spinal. The nurse said "You're shaking like a leaf... take a deep breath!"
I lay on the operating table with my belly curtained off... feeling cold and nauseous. My dear husband was at my side, stroking my face and telling me it was okay. Then some tugging, and voila! A baby girl. Funny, but I remember the music playing in the O.R. at the time was "In The Jungle". She cried right away and they wiped her off, and eventually brought her over to me so I could see her sweet face.
Thankfully recover was really well for me - I didn't end up with an infection in my incision like a friend of mine did after her c-section. She was in excruciating pain for months.
But something was really missing. I didn't "give birth". They took the baby out of me, and then I got to take her home. Oh I love her dearly and bonded with her and breastfed her well past the first year. But it lacked the success and joy that comes from birthing your child.
That was my first indication that something wasn't right. When I became pregnant for the second time, when my daughter was around 13 months, I started to read everything I could get my hands onto. I read a book called: "The VBAC Companion" by Diana Korte and learned that my chances of a successful vaginal birth after cesarean were much better if I chose midwives. We didn't have a ton of money at the time, being a single-income family, but this was an absolute priority. I did not feel supported by the doctors involved in my last pregnancy. I didn't feel as if I was treated as a person - just a body with symptoms to observe and react to.
The first visit with the midwives was incredible. They were so different. They were like sisters or mothers who wanted to share the joy and miracle of pregnancy and birth with me! I told them of my disappointment with my last birth and they tsk-ed and nodded their heads in understanding. They told me how doctors are trained to look for NORMAL and anything that varies from that, they don't understand or know how to cope with. It becomes abnormal, instead of just a variation of normal.
My pregnancy was even more enjoyable this time around with our visits with the midwives. We brought our little toddler and they even had a cupboard with toys in the "examination room" which was more like a little bedroom with a soft, nicely make up bed and large windows and some cupboards for the medical stuff. They talked with me about my feelings and my eating habits and how I would cope with a toddler and a baby. It felt like they wanted to genuinely know me as a person so they could better serve me at the time of birth.
These midwives really earned their money too! I was two weeks late when labor finally seemed to start. The baby was posterior and labor was slow and irregular.
To make a long story short, I labored at home with the midwives support from Sunday until the middle of the night on Monday until we transferred to the hospital. At this point, no one was very sure if I could deliver naturally, but I was still determined to try. Because I was exhausted, I chose to have an epidural, and then they offered me some Pitocin to strengthen the contractions. 12 hours after being at the hospital (after more than 36 hours of labor) and 2 hours of pushing, I finally gave birth for the first time. What a joy. What a relief. I didn't regret one minute of it. They laid him on my chest still bloody and beginning to whimper, and I cooed at his sweet face. I didn't care about the extensive tearing of my perineum! This was my baby whom I loved and labored for! I told everyone in the room I couldn't wait to do it again, and that next time would be better! They laughed at me... amazed at my tenacity and willingness after such an ordeal.
Well my 3rd pregnancy happened in around the same timing as the previous... when my son was about 13-14 months, I was pregnant again! We went back to the midwives, no questions asked - even though our financial situation was worse than before. It wasn't an option to us.
This pregnancy was also complication free. My only regrets were towards the end, when I was overdue again and the midwives were getting antsy. As they did in my previous pregnancy, they rimmed my cervix and tried to get things going once I was past 40 weeks. I even tried Castor oil to induce but it did nothing - just tasted disgusting!
I had a very easy birth - only a few hours of hard labor, and gave birth to my second girl in a pool in our bedroom at home. There was peaceful music playing, the lights were dim and I felt at home. My only complaint was that the midwives were fairly insistent on me squatting, supported by my husband who was outside of the pool. So I felt very awkward and precarious as he tried to hold me up. I didn't like it much at all and was quite concerned about tearing. But my little girl was born easily into the water and a short while later, we were cuddled in our own bed and I was saying "I can't believe it's already over!"
-----To Be Continued-----
Why would an intelligent, healthy woman in the western world resort to unassisted birth or UC as it is commonly referred to? And why live through an unassisted pregnancy (UP) when we have so many "amazing" resources available to us?
My journey began as a young married woman, pregnant for the first time and excited about the prospects of "giving birth". I knew I didn't want to be one of those "weaker women" who had to be dosed up on tons of drugs and couldn't handle the pain. I was also very curious about the workings of my body and expected that labor should be something that comes naturally. A friend referred me to her "pro-natural" doctor and things progressed quite normally. I went for the tests they told me to go to, had my monthly, then weekly appointments - albeit spending more time in the waiting room than with the doctor. But she knew what she was doing, right? What did I have to be concerned about?
I gained an enormous amount of weight... extra padding in the first trimester because my eating habits became scattered and random, affected by the morning sickness and the need to "eat for two"! Then towards the end of the pregnancy I began to retain a lot of water. My ankles were swollen and you could press your finger into my lower leg an leave a dent for several minutes. Thankfully, it was nothing serious - my blood pressure remained normal and baby was doing fine.
I started to have Braxton hicks contractions in the last few weeks... Also, my doctor sent me in for an ultrasound because I was so huge. So at 39 weeks we found out that I had polyhydramnois, or an excess of amniotic fluid. It wasn't considered serious, but something to keep an eye on.
On Thanksgiving day (just before my due date) I remember hanging out at my parent's house and feeling the baby doing gymnastics in my belly. I didn't think too much of it until I had another ultrasound at 41 weeks and found out that the baby had become breech. The doctor gave me the good news and the bad news. I would be having the baby very soon and the bad news, it would be via c-section. I asked whether they could turn the baby and was given the story of how risky that was, that most often the baby would go into distress if you tried and then I would be in for an emergency c-section and be cut open stem to stern (not the conventional way.. and much more risky in subsequent pregnancies).
On Friday, October 15, I was booked for my c-section and willingly yet nervously awaited the "birth" of my baby. I remember shaking with fear when I was in the operating room as the anesthesiologist gave me the spinal. The nurse said "You're shaking like a leaf... take a deep breath!"
I lay on the operating table with my belly curtained off... feeling cold and nauseous. My dear husband was at my side, stroking my face and telling me it was okay. Then some tugging, and voila! A baby girl. Funny, but I remember the music playing in the O.R. at the time was "In The Jungle". She cried right away and they wiped her off, and eventually brought her over to me so I could see her sweet face.
Thankfully recover was really well for me - I didn't end up with an infection in my incision like a friend of mine did after her c-section. She was in excruciating pain for months.
But something was really missing. I didn't "give birth". They took the baby out of me, and then I got to take her home. Oh I love her dearly and bonded with her and breastfed her well past the first year. But it lacked the success and joy that comes from birthing your child.
That was my first indication that something wasn't right. When I became pregnant for the second time, when my daughter was around 13 months, I started to read everything I could get my hands onto. I read a book called: "The VBAC Companion" by Diana Korte and learned that my chances of a successful vaginal birth after cesarean were much better if I chose midwives. We didn't have a ton of money at the time, being a single-income family, but this was an absolute priority. I did not feel supported by the doctors involved in my last pregnancy. I didn't feel as if I was treated as a person - just a body with symptoms to observe and react to.
The first visit with the midwives was incredible. They were so different. They were like sisters or mothers who wanted to share the joy and miracle of pregnancy and birth with me! I told them of my disappointment with my last birth and they tsk-ed and nodded their heads in understanding. They told me how doctors are trained to look for NORMAL and anything that varies from that, they don't understand or know how to cope with. It becomes abnormal, instead of just a variation of normal.
My pregnancy was even more enjoyable this time around with our visits with the midwives. We brought our little toddler and they even had a cupboard with toys in the "examination room" which was more like a little bedroom with a soft, nicely make up bed and large windows and some cupboards for the medical stuff. They talked with me about my feelings and my eating habits and how I would cope with a toddler and a baby. It felt like they wanted to genuinely know me as a person so they could better serve me at the time of birth.
These midwives really earned their money too! I was two weeks late when labor finally seemed to start. The baby was posterior and labor was slow and irregular.
To make a long story short, I labored at home with the midwives support from Sunday until the middle of the night on Monday until we transferred to the hospital. At this point, no one was very sure if I could deliver naturally, but I was still determined to try. Because I was exhausted, I chose to have an epidural, and then they offered me some Pitocin to strengthen the contractions. 12 hours after being at the hospital (after more than 36 hours of labor) and 2 hours of pushing, I finally gave birth for the first time. What a joy. What a relief. I didn't regret one minute of it. They laid him on my chest still bloody and beginning to whimper, and I cooed at his sweet face. I didn't care about the extensive tearing of my perineum! This was my baby whom I loved and labored for! I told everyone in the room I couldn't wait to do it again, and that next time would be better! They laughed at me... amazed at my tenacity and willingness after such an ordeal.
Well my 3rd pregnancy happened in around the same timing as the previous... when my son was about 13-14 months, I was pregnant again! We went back to the midwives, no questions asked - even though our financial situation was worse than before. It wasn't an option to us.
This pregnancy was also complication free. My only regrets were towards the end, when I was overdue again and the midwives were getting antsy. As they did in my previous pregnancy, they rimmed my cervix and tried to get things going once I was past 40 weeks. I even tried Castor oil to induce but it did nothing - just tasted disgusting!
I had a very easy birth - only a few hours of hard labor, and gave birth to my second girl in a pool in our bedroom at home. There was peaceful music playing, the lights were dim and I felt at home. My only complaint was that the midwives were fairly insistent on me squatting, supported by my husband who was outside of the pool. So I felt very awkward and precarious as he tried to hold me up. I didn't like it much at all and was quite concerned about tearing. But my little girl was born easily into the water and a short while later, we were cuddled in our own bed and I was saying "I can't believe it's already over!"
-----To Be Continued-----
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Apparently I'm Pregnant! (Shhh... it's a secret!)
Well, I suspected it. Even took a couple pregnancy tests (that were negative - but that could be a result of conceiving a bit later in my cycle...). Then - a positive test result in the bathroom of Thi Thi Vietnamese Subs in Calgary (more on that later). And now, I know the truth! There will be another baby coming to our family!
Back when I was pregnant with our 2nd boy (our 5th baby), we had "determined" that he would be our last... our family was complete. But despite the extra long pregnancy of 43 1/2 weeks, and the extra long labor lasting a couple days... something kept us from closing the door to more children.
Okay, so already I've probably displayed that I'm not normal. I don't do things like everyone else. I am a pro-freebirth, unassisted birth, whatever you want to call it kind of girl. I have had 2 homebirths out of 5, and I would love to have more.
So now for the details as I record the musings, details and adventures to be had in my 7th pregnancy (I had one miscarriage between baby #4 and #5).
First day of last period: Feb 28/09
And on that note, it was my first (and only) real period since having my last baby who turned a year on March 5. I'm lucky to have LAM (in layman's terms.. a lack of a period because my body is too busy producing breastmilk) and it tends to last a year.
So I took a pregnancy test on March 27th and it was negative. Although, it did come from the dollar store... so I wasn't completely convinced. But that was only about 4 weeks since my period, so.. maybe too soon.
The next week, I was impatient and took a test on the Thursday.. April 2nd. Still a dollar store test (I just wasn't willing to invest much into it yet!)
That week following, I do specifically remember very mild symptoms... maybe an inkling that perhaps I was pregnant again, but I also thought it might just be my mind playing tricks on me because I still didn't have my period!
On Friday, April 10th, my husband and I got the rare chance for an overnight getaway without all the kids! (Just our nursing baby!) His parents had come up to spend a week with us, and had no qualms about watching the kids overnight. Since we were headed to a friend's place in a nearby city, we thought we'd pick up some wine. I told him that maybe I should pick up another dollar store test because I didn't want to imbibe extravagantly if I was pregnant! Unfortunately, because it was Good Friday, the dollar store was closed so we went to Wal-Mart instead. I bought the Equate brand pregnancy test with 2 tests in it... just in case I would be saving one for later.
Then it was time for some food! We were excited to be in a bigger city, with more to choose from, so we went for Vietnamese Subs. I snuck into the bathroom with the test, read the instructions as if I was a newbie, and peed on the stick.
Seriously, within seconds of the "liquid" absorbing up the stick, it showed some interesting lines. I was confused at first, because this test is supposed to show a line in the first circle - the control, and then it is supposed to make a "+" sign in the second one. And if there is only a straight line down, I think you're not pregnant, but if there is a horizontal line as well, then you are. I sort of freaked out a little, looked into the mirror and said to myself "I'm pregnant!!!" in a giddy little voice. I put the test back into the wrapper and headed out to the table where our delicious food was waiting.
I tossed the package across the table and told my husband to look. I don't know if he could tell from my expression at that point, but he opened it up and was like "ok..." Happy, yet calm. No big comments.
And inside, I was gurgling with nervous excitement. Can't believe it. NO WAY! All ready pregnant! WHAT THE HECK! It's like as soon as my body has viable room for rent, someone goes ahead and moves in! No long months of waiting and wondering... guess everything is working just fine!
So that's it on the beginnings of this journey.
I am planning to go fully unassisted - unassisted pregnancy except for maybe some visits to the chiropractor, and then I would love to have another unassisted birth. (This would be my second.)
Welcome to my world...
Back when I was pregnant with our 2nd boy (our 5th baby), we had "determined" that he would be our last... our family was complete. But despite the extra long pregnancy of 43 1/2 weeks, and the extra long labor lasting a couple days... something kept us from closing the door to more children.
Okay, so already I've probably displayed that I'm not normal. I don't do things like everyone else. I am a pro-freebirth, unassisted birth, whatever you want to call it kind of girl. I have had 2 homebirths out of 5, and I would love to have more.
So now for the details as I record the musings, details and adventures to be had in my 7th pregnancy (I had one miscarriage between baby #4 and #5).
First day of last period: Feb 28/09
And on that note, it was my first (and only) real period since having my last baby who turned a year on March 5. I'm lucky to have LAM (in layman's terms.. a lack of a period because my body is too busy producing breastmilk) and it tends to last a year.
So I took a pregnancy test on March 27th and it was negative. Although, it did come from the dollar store... so I wasn't completely convinced. But that was only about 4 weeks since my period, so.. maybe too soon.
The next week, I was impatient and took a test on the Thursday.. April 2nd. Still a dollar store test (I just wasn't willing to invest much into it yet!)
That week following, I do specifically remember very mild symptoms... maybe an inkling that perhaps I was pregnant again, but I also thought it might just be my mind playing tricks on me because I still didn't have my period!
On Friday, April 10th, my husband and I got the rare chance for an overnight getaway without all the kids! (Just our nursing baby!) His parents had come up to spend a week with us, and had no qualms about watching the kids overnight. Since we were headed to a friend's place in a nearby city, we thought we'd pick up some wine. I told him that maybe I should pick up another dollar store test because I didn't want to imbibe extravagantly if I was pregnant! Unfortunately, because it was Good Friday, the dollar store was closed so we went to Wal-Mart instead. I bought the Equate brand pregnancy test with 2 tests in it... just in case I would be saving one for later.
Then it was time for some food! We were excited to be in a bigger city, with more to choose from, so we went for Vietnamese Subs. I snuck into the bathroom with the test, read the instructions as if I was a newbie, and peed on the stick.
Seriously, within seconds of the "liquid" absorbing up the stick, it showed some interesting lines. I was confused at first, because this test is supposed to show a line in the first circle - the control, and then it is supposed to make a "+" sign in the second one. And if there is only a straight line down, I think you're not pregnant, but if there is a horizontal line as well, then you are. I sort of freaked out a little, looked into the mirror and said to myself "I'm pregnant!!!" in a giddy little voice. I put the test back into the wrapper and headed out to the table where our delicious food was waiting.
I tossed the package across the table and told my husband to look. I don't know if he could tell from my expression at that point, but he opened it up and was like "ok..." Happy, yet calm. No big comments.
And inside, I was gurgling with nervous excitement. Can't believe it. NO WAY! All ready pregnant! WHAT THE HECK! It's like as soon as my body has viable room for rent, someone goes ahead and moves in! No long months of waiting and wondering... guess everything is working just fine!
So that's it on the beginnings of this journey.
I am planning to go fully unassisted - unassisted pregnancy except for maybe some visits to the chiropractor, and then I would love to have another unassisted birth. (This would be my second.)
Welcome to my world...
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