To labor, or not to labor?

41 weeks and 2 days Pregnant.

I really thought I was in labor on Monday... that would have been quite the miracle for me, to have the baby BEFORE 41 weeks!

On Saturday night I had started to have light contractions fairly consistently. I didn't tell Dan because I didn't want to stress him out with all that's going on (and with him preparing to preach the next morning at church!) But, they kind of went away... Then, Sunday night the same thing. This time I told him! But I didn't figure there was anything to get excited. I am well known for having days or even weeks of prodomal labor - labor that is doing very little, but is all in preparation for the "big day".

Then, early Monday morning while I was still trying to sleep, I noticed a few times that I felt slight little gushes. I thought it was a little strange - either I was really losing control over my bladder, or maybe my water had a slow leak? At any rate, for a couple hours I was too lazy to get out or bed quite yet. Then I got up, finally around 7:30 and went to the bathroom. It was blood! Not bright red bleeding, but more of a bloody mucous. AHA! Also, I still seemed to be having random light contractions. I'll have to say that despite my history with EXTRA long pregnancies and even EXTRA long births, I really thought something was happening!

That morning I asked Dan to check things out, and he guessed I was around 4cm dilated. Oh, and the gross part, there was LOTS of yucky, bloody stuff going on down there. Not like I was bleeding like a period or anything, but... definitely stuff happening. I haven't had this in every labor, but this is a classic example of "bloody show".

So, I was in a bit of a tizzy thinking of all I had to do to get ready for Christmas, and that if I was in early labor, I really needed to get some stuff done and I didn't want to be sitting around, just waiting. So I decided to go into town with Dan (we live 10 minutes outside the city, and only have 1 vehicle) and after running to a few stores, dropped him off to work on the house that we have to move into next week.

I headed to Walmart with the kids, thinking that maybe I could get some Christmas shopping done. Ha ha... We went to the bathroom right off the bat so the kids and I could have a potty break. I noticed a bit more discharge, but nothing substantial.
So we headed across the store to the fishes and the baby department. Suddenly, I felt these blobby gushes coming out of me. Uh-oh! I wondered if it was my water breaking... or if it was just some blood or clots. I stood there, in a bit of a panic, grateful that the kids were in the next aisle over looking at the fish. I felt the front of my jeans (of course, not able to see over my belly) and it felt dry, but I was getting concerned! What would I do if I had a big mess all over me with 5 kids, trying to shop in Walmart!!!!

I went over to the kids and let them look at the fish another couple minutes, then I said I had to go back to the bathroom and we headed back.

I have to tell you it was pretty disgusting. Thankfully I was wearing a full-on pad, not just a panti-liner, in expectation of birth stuff going on. Anyway, there were several turd-sized clots - not too huge, I've certainly had bigger in my time, but they were clots nonetheless. In my head I went through the possibilities, and although I felt at peace, there was that clamoring of fear that said "You don't even have a doctor or midwife to turn to, what are you going to do, stupid!" I began to get logical though, and figured that since I had been sitting in the van for quite a while, that it was not abnormal for blood to pool and clot. And besides, it was still all mucousy and gross, not like it was blood pouring out of me. I said a quick prayer and asked God to have the baby move if things were ok. Immediately, I felt a couple nudges beneath my ribs.

So... needless to say, I didn't feel much like shopping. I stuffed some toilet paper on top of the yucky pad, kicking myself for not having prepared and having another pad in my purse (but there were some in the van). So I waddled around the store, did a couple more things, and decided to get the kids some Timbits before we left. I stood in line next to another mom and she looked over at my shopping cart full of children and said "Oh my... they're all yours?! 5?"

"6." I said, pointing at my basketball. (More like a monster pumpkin.) She asked when I was due, and I said "any day". Her eyes got big and she said "Wow.. you're so small for number six!" Yay... that made my day!

So, I carted the kids back into the van and gave them strict instructions to stay buckled and that they could have 1 Timbit while I was gone. Then I had to take a pad and go to the bathroom AGAIN! The kids looked at me like I was growing a second head, in shock that I had to go AGAIN!!!

Well, the day continued and I kept having contractions and in the midst of it, kept feeling the baby wiggle around (and that was quite reassuring). The bloody show slowed down a lot, so I became less concerned as the day went on. I do remember that when I was in labor with my third, I had bleeding during labor, and it scared me at first - but the midwife said it was totally normal, just a sign that the baby was coming soon!

So, that night I really figured something should have happened, and asked Dan to check me again. But... it wasn't really different except for the fact that my cervix seemed shorter (so more effaced)but not really any more dilated. I went to bed, content with the fact that at least SOMETHING had been accomplished, and I actually had a great sleep that night. In other words... no contractions.

And I haven't really had any contractions since. Two whole days of NOTHING! I don't know whether to be happy or sad because on one hand, I really would prefer to have the baby at least a few days after Christmas, but on the other hand, who wants to stay pregnant when you're this big and uncomfortable!!???

So yesterday was full of tears... disappointment, uncertainty... I want to be excited about this baby coming, but I also feel a lot of stress about us MOVING next Monday. I don't really have the opportunity to nest or anything, I'm just going to have to roll with the punches.

In Conclusion... my sanity has come from a belief that this baby is planned by God... and that HE is fully aware of when it needs to be born. I also find myself thinking of Mary, Jesus' mother... travelling on the back of a donkey, wandering around Bethlehem with Joseph and they can't even find a crappy motel room to stay in!! That must have been scary... and horribly frustrating...

I'm sure this baby will come at the right time, so I'm back to waiting. I think what is bizarre is that when you reach 4-5cm dilated, you are supposed to enter the "active" labor stage. Instead, for me, I've entered the "inactive" stage. Nothing happening... nothing going on. Just have to wait! Oh well, at least some of the work is already done.

Tales from a cervix... (This is X-rated by the way!)

Alright... in the beginning I made myself out to be "alternative" and that this blog was going to be all about taking control and responsibility for my own body, with a knowledge and understanding of pregnancy that doesn't rely primarily on the medical world.

So... this post is not for the squeamish. This may gross you out. This may cause you to think I'm a complete weirdo - and that's okay. But, if you're game for this, read on...

Back when I had my second baby, a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean), we hired midwives to deliver the baby - statistically, I had read that your chance of a natural birth with midwives after a Cesarean were MUCH higher than if you went with a doctor. The midwives were very open. They talked about EVERYTHING. And it was really quite refreshing. We learned so much from them - including, what changes a cervix goes through in late pregnancy/early labor. One of the things I remember is their description of your cervix: Before any "ripening" or dilation or effacing occurs, your cervix is a firm round knobby thing that feels like the end of your nose. As it "ripens" it becomes soft and "mushy" like a ripe peach.

By our third pregnancy, we weren't content to be innocent by-standers in regards to the whole pre-labor activities of my body! Especially, being someone who goes overdue... always overdue and very overdue, I wanted to know if ANYTHING was going on in my body that meant labor should eventually, sometime begin! So I think it was in this, my 3rd pregnancy, that we ventured into the assessment of my cervix. I found it rather awkward to "reach up there" myself, so I assigned my husband the task! Honestly... if we are comfortable having sex and all that... why shouldn't he be able to check my cervix? In fact, it should be a more natural thing than having a doctor - who I barely know - do it!

Okay, so that's the background in this. We became pretty confident and my husband became rather experienced over the next couple pregnancies figuring out how dilated I was and discovering the changes that sometimes happened WEEKS before I actually delivered. For example, I was 3-4 cm dilated for at least a week before I went into labor with my 5th... it was as though my body was slowing working it's way up to labor.

Now, onto this pregnancy. For one thing, I've noticed a crazy increase in discharge (ewww... such a yucky word!) over the past week or so. I don't know if I could say that I lost my mucus plug, but some women lose theirs over time, rather than having a specific "plug" that comes out. I do remember one of my pregnancies that was the case - it happened after some... err.. intimate encounter and it was like "oh gross, there it is, my mucus plug!" Other times, it can slowly melt away like a runny nose. Gross, huh!

So anyway, I've been curious. I decided to try for myself about a week ago to see if I could decipher what was happening inside. My goodness... you really need piano fingers for this job. I've found the best way to get a gander is to squat down, although some women (yes, I'm not the only one who does this) will stand in front of the toilet seat with one foot up in a lunge position. So anyway, I was in this awkward position, and I could just barely feel a knobby thing at the tip of my fingers - aha! Hello cervix - AKA the front door of my baby's current residence! It felt a medium-ripe, I guess, and I think it was also pointing more back than down. As you head towards labor, the cervix will actually shift and begin to point down.

Now yesterday... since I'm officially "overdue", I thought I'd see if there were any changes. I've also noticed a lot more funky feelings down there, so I figured that something might be starting to happen. This time, I could feel like my cervix had shifted a bit - maybe pointing more downwards. And it feels more squishy. The problem is, as you can probably guess, it is SUPER AWKWARD with a humongous belly to do all this assessment - let alone when you're not pregnant! Of course I'm sure a lot has to do with whether you have meaty oven mitts for hands or graceful, slender piano hands. I tend a little toward the former. So I needed a second opinion and requested my husband to "check me out". Well, apparently his reach is better than mine and he determined that I'm about 3cm dilated already! Yahoooooo!!! And he described my cervix as very "floppy". How romantic!

So, that's the latest, greatest update on my pregnancy. Of course, just because I'm starting to dilate, has little bearing on WHEN I'll have this baby. But it is a comfort to me that my body is heading in that direction. I'm on my way to labor-land....

Due-Date???

So, I have reached "full-term", the "end", my much anticipated "due-date". But what does it mean? Well, to me, I have switched from counting down to 40 weeks, to now counting-up to when this baby wants to be born! It could be 3 weeks - or more, or less.

I feel fine - well, I certainly feel "due" now, with the big belly that makes it uncomfortable to sleep, and I started to get swollen ankles every night. But, I do have to admit that I feel...fine. Yep, I could do this for another few weeks and it would be no big deal. So... we shall see.

On a technical note, I am drinking 2 or more small pots of Red Raspberry Leaf tea each day now - to strengthen and tone my uterus. I'm also taking 3-5 500mg capsules of Evening Primrose Oil each day - and that is supposed to help "ripen" your cervix. It gives the potential to make labor quicker, so that sounds good to me! I've also begun to take a natural iron supplement called Floradix. That's about it as far as medical issues. I feel fine, baby is doing fine, and next week is Christmas! Crazy....

Ready or Not???

Well I can't believe I'll be 39 weeks (approximately....) tomorrow!!!

This is ridiculous how quickly this pregnancy is going by, and I don't really feel all that prepared to have a baby any time soon.

I did finally buy some newborn diapers and packed a bag of stuff for the birth and baby, but things with moving and our house are going slower than we'd hoped and we're still living in our old place, and should be moving into the new one "any time". In some ways, I really want to be there - I'm excited about living in the city again, and just having our new house, but on the other hand I'm also not naive to think that it's going to be all fluff and bubbles when we get there! There's going to be so much more work to do... no real kitchen, bathrooms aren't done yet and we probably won't have carpet/laminate, etc., on our floors for a while yet!!!

Anyways, back to this pregnancy. I'm beginning to feel quite pregnant. I notice twingey feelings in my cervix especially when I'm walking around or on my feet for a long time. It feels like my pelvic floor muscles are getting exhausted with holding it all together as well, and I often feel achy by the end of the day!

I've noticed my breasts have really grown again in the past month or so, which is funny because I spent such a short time having "little boobs" when Ben (now 21 months) was slowly weaning himself. He pretty much stopped nursing around 6 weeks ago - although, at that point it was maybe once per day, and had been only once a day since he was about 18 months. So... I guess this will be the shortest break I've ever had from nursing since I started having babies, but then, this is also the quickest I've ever become pregnant.

I've turned 30 in the last week! Wow... so now I'm in the category of those books targeted to the "older mother" - like Your Pregnancy After 30... Ummm... whatever, I don't think I'll bother checking it out from the library!

I've been a little more lazy with my exercise the past couple weeks, so I'm going to try to increase my frequency to 4-5 times a week, but just doing around 20 minutes cardio at a time. I'm stuck without my stairclimber which I've loved working out on my whole pregnancy, so now I do aerobic dvds or find stuff at www.exercise.tv

Tonight I will meet with one of the doulas who will probably be around for my birth. We'll see how that goes. I've had second thoughts and wavered back and forth because I really feel like this birth is going to be straightforward and "easy" and like I probably won't need any extra help. However, I was talking with my husband last night and told him that it's basically like we're purchasing insurance - just in case I need the extra help, it will be there. At least they can be extra hands to take pictures and help clean up!

Okay, I'm off to la la land for a nap... it's quiet time in my house right now!