To labor, or not to labor?

41 weeks and 2 days Pregnant.

I really thought I was in labor on Monday... that would have been quite the miracle for me, to have the baby BEFORE 41 weeks!

On Saturday night I had started to have light contractions fairly consistently. I didn't tell Dan because I didn't want to stress him out with all that's going on (and with him preparing to preach the next morning at church!) But, they kind of went away... Then, Sunday night the same thing. This time I told him! But I didn't figure there was anything to get excited. I am well known for having days or even weeks of prodomal labor - labor that is doing very little, but is all in preparation for the "big day".

Then, early Monday morning while I was still trying to sleep, I noticed a few times that I felt slight little gushes. I thought it was a little strange - either I was really losing control over my bladder, or maybe my water had a slow leak? At any rate, for a couple hours I was too lazy to get out or bed quite yet. Then I got up, finally around 7:30 and went to the bathroom. It was blood! Not bright red bleeding, but more of a bloody mucous. AHA! Also, I still seemed to be having random light contractions. I'll have to say that despite my history with EXTRA long pregnancies and even EXTRA long births, I really thought something was happening!

That morning I asked Dan to check things out, and he guessed I was around 4cm dilated. Oh, and the gross part, there was LOTS of yucky, bloody stuff going on down there. Not like I was bleeding like a period or anything, but... definitely stuff happening. I haven't had this in every labor, but this is a classic example of "bloody show".

So, I was in a bit of a tizzy thinking of all I had to do to get ready for Christmas, and that if I was in early labor, I really needed to get some stuff done and I didn't want to be sitting around, just waiting. So I decided to go into town with Dan (we live 10 minutes outside the city, and only have 1 vehicle) and after running to a few stores, dropped him off to work on the house that we have to move into next week.

I headed to Walmart with the kids, thinking that maybe I could get some Christmas shopping done. Ha ha... We went to the bathroom right off the bat so the kids and I could have a potty break. I noticed a bit more discharge, but nothing substantial.
So we headed across the store to the fishes and the baby department. Suddenly, I felt these blobby gushes coming out of me. Uh-oh! I wondered if it was my water breaking... or if it was just some blood or clots. I stood there, in a bit of a panic, grateful that the kids were in the next aisle over looking at the fish. I felt the front of my jeans (of course, not able to see over my belly) and it felt dry, but I was getting concerned! What would I do if I had a big mess all over me with 5 kids, trying to shop in Walmart!!!!

I went over to the kids and let them look at the fish another couple minutes, then I said I had to go back to the bathroom and we headed back.

I have to tell you it was pretty disgusting. Thankfully I was wearing a full-on pad, not just a panti-liner, in expectation of birth stuff going on. Anyway, there were several turd-sized clots - not too huge, I've certainly had bigger in my time, but they were clots nonetheless. In my head I went through the possibilities, and although I felt at peace, there was that clamoring of fear that said "You don't even have a doctor or midwife to turn to, what are you going to do, stupid!" I began to get logical though, and figured that since I had been sitting in the van for quite a while, that it was not abnormal for blood to pool and clot. And besides, it was still all mucousy and gross, not like it was blood pouring out of me. I said a quick prayer and asked God to have the baby move if things were ok. Immediately, I felt a couple nudges beneath my ribs.

So... needless to say, I didn't feel much like shopping. I stuffed some toilet paper on top of the yucky pad, kicking myself for not having prepared and having another pad in my purse (but there were some in the van). So I waddled around the store, did a couple more things, and decided to get the kids some Timbits before we left. I stood in line next to another mom and she looked over at my shopping cart full of children and said "Oh my... they're all yours?! 5?"

"6." I said, pointing at my basketball. (More like a monster pumpkin.) She asked when I was due, and I said "any day". Her eyes got big and she said "Wow.. you're so small for number six!" Yay... that made my day!

So, I carted the kids back into the van and gave them strict instructions to stay buckled and that they could have 1 Timbit while I was gone. Then I had to take a pad and go to the bathroom AGAIN! The kids looked at me like I was growing a second head, in shock that I had to go AGAIN!!!

Well, the day continued and I kept having contractions and in the midst of it, kept feeling the baby wiggle around (and that was quite reassuring). The bloody show slowed down a lot, so I became less concerned as the day went on. I do remember that when I was in labor with my third, I had bleeding during labor, and it scared me at first - but the midwife said it was totally normal, just a sign that the baby was coming soon!

So, that night I really figured something should have happened, and asked Dan to check me again. But... it wasn't really different except for the fact that my cervix seemed shorter (so more effaced)but not really any more dilated. I went to bed, content with the fact that at least SOMETHING had been accomplished, and I actually had a great sleep that night. In other words... no contractions.

And I haven't really had any contractions since. Two whole days of NOTHING! I don't know whether to be happy or sad because on one hand, I really would prefer to have the baby at least a few days after Christmas, but on the other hand, who wants to stay pregnant when you're this big and uncomfortable!!???

So yesterday was full of tears... disappointment, uncertainty... I want to be excited about this baby coming, but I also feel a lot of stress about us MOVING next Monday. I don't really have the opportunity to nest or anything, I'm just going to have to roll with the punches.

In Conclusion... my sanity has come from a belief that this baby is planned by God... and that HE is fully aware of when it needs to be born. I also find myself thinking of Mary, Jesus' mother... travelling on the back of a donkey, wandering around Bethlehem with Joseph and they can't even find a crappy motel room to stay in!! That must have been scary... and horribly frustrating...

I'm sure this baby will come at the right time, so I'm back to waiting. I think what is bizarre is that when you reach 4-5cm dilated, you are supposed to enter the "active" labor stage. Instead, for me, I've entered the "inactive" stage. Nothing happening... nothing going on. Just have to wait! Oh well, at least some of the work is already done.